The (Never-Ending) Adoption Chronicles

I'm going to eat you little fishy....

2012-01-06T10:38:00.000-05:00

I suspect only those Red Dwarf fans amongst you will get the reference in the title of this post. It's a lie, I guess, as I don't ear fishies at all - I do not like the seafood. As I like to say, I am doing my part to save the world's oceans.
Anyhoo, to the real (and real stupid) reason for the post - am I the only person who feeds the fishies every time I'm on my blog? Or do some of you lovely people feed them too? I don't want to over-feed them, you see, otherwise they'll get all fat & I'll be cleaning their tank every other day.
Yes, it's been a frustrating, crazy-making kind of week. I am glad it is almost the weekend....

P.S. - For those of you who ARE fans of Red Dwarf, did you know that the original cast are all back in the studio as we speak, recording the tenth season? Woohoo!

34 months? Really?

2012-01-03T14:54:00.000-05:00

Yes, it's true! As of today, we have been waiting 34 months for our referral. Who knew, in March of 2009, that we would still be waiting to be matched with our girl. I certainly didn't think so, even during the dark days of the bankruptcy. I'm sure that, karmically, cosmically, there's a reason for all this, but it escapes me. Here's hoping that, one day, hopefully soon, we'll be matched, and none of this waiting & hoping & agonizing will fade away into nothingness. Until then, we wait.....

HELLO 2012! 2011, you can go now...

2012-01-02T08:11:00.000-05:00

Happy new year, faithful readers! May the new year bring you happiness, health, peace, and all that good stuff. 2011 was not the greatest year, so I'm hoping 2012 is our year. I'm not getting my hopes up too high, though! As much as I try to be an optimist, I am really a pessimist at heart. This year, though, I'm going to do my best to only put good vibes out into the universe, so the same will come back to me. I hope you'll be seeing more positive posts from me, especially positive adoptions posts. This year is our year (pretty please)!

My mom's surgery went well - they removed 2/3 of her thyroid. We'll find out this week, hopefully Tuesday or Wednesday, whether or not it was cancer. I suspect we're going to get good news in that regard.

Bring on the good stuff, 2012!

Merry Christmas everyone

2011-12-23T08:42:00.000-05:00

That's right - Merry Christmas to all 3 people that read my blog! I was hoping for a Christmas referral miracle this year, but it just wasn't in the cards. That's okay, it gives 2012 a chance to blow 2011 out of the water! Here are some things I want for 2012:

For my family to be healthy (especially my mom, who is having surgery on 12/29 to remove some (hopefully non-cancerous) lumps from her thyroid).

For continued happiness.

To know who my daughter is (finally).

For my kittehs to get along (finally).

I'm not asking for much, I don't think.

Merry Christmas to all, and a Happy, prosperous 2012!

Awesome band names - super teehee edition

2011-12-07T13:00:00.000-05:00

This one I got from one of my favourite websites, Go Fug Yourself. It was used in reference to a be-sequinned, be-feathered get up that Fergie Ferg was wearing at some soiree. So, without further ado, I give you Weaponized Emu! The visual itself, of an emu packing heat, makes me laugh out loud. Weaponized Emu is a "rock" band, one of those bands like Nickelback, that aren't really all that good, whose songs all sound the same, and who no one will admit to liking. Hey, I said I loved the name, not the band.....

Let it go, let it go, let it go.....

2011-12-05T11:35:00.000-05:00

And by go, I mean "leave". This has been a very difficult Christmas season so far, one of the hardest that I can remember, and that includes the 8 Christmases I've spent apart from my family (thank God for my "adopted" Christmas family in Australia!). I am not in a Christmas mood at all this year, and I'm pretty sure it's all to do with the adoption (or the lack thereof). We were in the mall on Saturday, doing some shopping on behalf of my mom, and the store just happened to be right next to the "get your picture taken with Santa" area. It was all I could do to get past the little ones (dressed up to the nines) & their parents without bursting into tears, and then the store we went to was geared specifically to children, so that didn't help either. I don't remember feeling like this the last 2 Christmases just past. It's not that I'm jealous of everyone who has kids, it's just that I'm really, really bummed that we don't have one of our own yet. I don't feel like putting up any decorations, or any lights, or a tree, or anything like that. I am looking forward to exchanging gifts with my family, though - I think I've done a pretty good job this year with my purchases! It's just that, Christmas is for children, and it's a constant reminder that I don't have one.

OMG, SRSLY?

2011-11-30T08:46:00.000-05:00

Just had to get this off my chest, since I am at work & can't complain about it here. So, here at work my team puts in money every month to play the lottery, in hopes that someday we will all be gazillionaires (heh, like that's ever going to happen!). Anyhoo, in the last 6 months or so we have amassed about $350.00. One of our team is leaving us to go to a new job, so we agreed to pay out everything & start afresh in the new year. We were going to use some of the money to pay for this last month of lottery-playing, then use the rest for something that we all agreed on - a joint lunch, some sort of treat, and I suggested that we use the money to purchase a "gift" from Plan Canada for someone who REALLY needs it this Christmas (a goat, some chickens, some rabbits, something like that). Christmas is about giving, isn't it? Turns out that some of us (okay, one of us) isn't on board with the whole "giving to others" thing. The amount of money left over amounts to $8.00 per person, so I don't see what the big honking deal is! I can't force everyone to come around to my way of thinking, but not wanting to give to those needier than yourself just seems really petty to me. I mean, $8.00 a person won't even pay for a Swi$$ Ch@let lunch for everyone. This just makes me sad. It's not that it was my idea & it got shot down (that happens all the time). I just thought it would be a nice idea & would make us all feel warm & toasty & tingly inside. Boo, team member who never wants to participate in any team activity, boo to you.

This is hard.

2011-11-28T16:40:00.001-05:00

Some days, the waiting is okay, it's just there in the background, like a ticking clock - you know it's there, but it doesn't really call attention to itself, it's just part of the background noise. And some days, like today, it's all you can hear. You try to shake it off, try to force it into the background, but it keeps popping up, like an annoying, yappy dog that WILL NOT LEAVE YOU ALONE. The waiting is weighing heavily on me today. I suppose it because our good friends have just arrive home from Ethiopia with their new son. They're in a new phase of adopting, the "no more waiting" phase, the "home" phase, where you get to know each other, get to bond & attach & become a family. We're still in the waiting, waiting, waiting phase, and I feel so alone. I know we're not, I know there are lots of other families with our agency that are still waiting, but that doesn't make it any easier. I don't "know" them, they aren't my good friends, they don't "get" me. Don't get me wrong, I am over-the-moon ecstatic for my friends, for the realization of their dream, but I'm so, so, so jealous. In 4 months we will have been waiting 3 years to be matched with our daughter. How long before that dream comes true? How long? A month, 2 months? 6 months? A year? Right now, it feels so far away.

It's been a long time...

2011-11-21T14:33:00.000-05:00

since I posted anything of note. In fact, I had to look at my blog to see what the last significant posting was that I made. If that sentence wasn’t grammatically clunky, I don’t know what is. Anyhoo, on to the update.

OF ADOPTION SIGNIFICANCE: Going in chronological order: Andrew went to the agency on October 20 to drop off the updated paperwork we had gathered for our file (see: So Much Angry, So Little Time) & to “chat” to the file manager (not The Idiot) and to the managing director. The visit went well, really well, and it sounds like they are walking on eggshells around our file, which is what should have been happening all along (in a good way, I mean). They bent over backwards to help him, and even showed him where we are on the list (according to the director, we are 4th in line to receive a referral for a baby girl up to 18 months old at placement). They said they would be very surprised if we don’t have a referral in the next 6 months (so, by the end of April). That is great, wonderful news – I’m just having a really, really hard time believing this will actually happen. We’ve been waiting for so long (we started the paperwork 3.5 years ago, been officially waiting for a referral for over 2.5 years), and so much has happened (bankruptcy, Idiot paperwork bungle) that I am terrified of putting all my hope in this, and having my heart smashed into a million pieces. There have been a couple of referrals for infant girls recently, so that is helping me keep the faith.
October 21 – We are advised that The Idiot has decided to leave the agency, for personal reasons. Whether or not that was the only reason, who knows. All I know is – he messed up our file & did NOTHING to fix it. He waited until I went to someone else for help, & they discovered the problem. Apparently, he also bungled other families’ files, to varying degrees. Whatever the reason he left, I am glad he is gone. Yes, it puts more work on those employees still with the agency, but at least the work will be done correctly. Adoption is life-changing, and shouldn’t be taken lightly, or for granted, by any of the parties involved.
Right now – We’re still waiting on our stat dec paperwork, but we’re told that it should come in very soon (heh – we’ve heard that before!). We’ve paid the appropriate amount to the correct people, so everything is in order. And we can still get a referral, even if the stat dec isn’t quite ready yet. We’ve been working a bit more on the baby’s room – we moved the “spare room” dresser from the spare room into the nursery, and moved the tall dresser from the nursery to the spare room. The “spare room” dresser is much lower than the tall dresser, and we can use it as a change table with the addition of a foam changing pad, so that is space-saving! When we went to Buffalo 3 weeks ago we went to the Fisher Price World Headquarters in East Aurora as a side trip (nice little town – you should go!) and bought a high chair (the sort you put on a normal kitchen chair) and a diaper bag (a plain dark brown bag that Andrew will not be ashamed to carry). Slowly we are amassing all the ephemera a baby could ever need (well, except for the essentials – diapers, wipes, food, etc).
Also right now – Our friends are in Ethiopia RIGHT NOW picking up their son. I can’t believe he’ll be home for Christmas!

OF FAMILY SIGNIFICANCE: My brother is having colon resection surgery tomorrow, to remove part of his colon that has been damaged by his colitis & to fix some related damage. According to the doctor, once he has recovered he will be able to eat normally again, and will feel like he has never had colitis. That, my friends? Is music to my ears. He’s been suffering for the better part of a year with this beast called colitis & I will be SOOOO HAPPY to see him back to his old self. In related news, my niece continues to be TOO STINKIN’ CUTE, and even used the potty willingly for the first time the last time we were at her house (about 2 weeks ago)! Hooray for childhood milestones! She has a brand new cousin, too, born at the end of October. Lucky girl.

OF NO PARTICULAR SIGNIFICANCE: We’ve started our Christmas shopping and are about two-thirds finished. I’m very pleased with the choices we’ve made for our loved ones, though I really do need to get cracking on my brother’s stocking (we pick names out of a hat to see whose stocking we will fill that year – I got my brother). I have been hinting that I’d really, really like something from Tiffanys this year, before become a family of 3 & money is more tight. I’m not sure that Andrew is getting the hint, though. I learned some cool things while we were shopping in Buffalo earlier this month: Pandora charms are significantly cheaper in the States, it is possible to get a Coach bag for less than $120.00 (including taxes!), Black & Blue Steak & Seafood is a REALLY nice place to eat, and, if you’re going to a Sabres hockey game, there will always be a competitively priced parking lot much closer to the arena than the one you parked in. I learned that last one the hard way, but at least I got some exercise!

So, that’s where I’ve been. I’m looking forward to this upcoming holiday season, to seeing friends & family, to kicking back & enjoying good company, holiday movies (Elf 4EVA!) and tasty nibbles (I’ve got this jalapeno popper dip recipe I’m dying to try out). And who knows? Maybe Santa will leave something extra special (a referral!) under my tree…..

Totally Awesome Band Names - it's been way too long edition

2011-11-08T09:17:00.000-05:00

Courtesy of the Mythbusters, the latest Totally Awesome Band Name is Puppetted Dung. It's from the myth they did a bunch of years ago about whether or not elephants are afraid of mice. As it turns out, they are! And that is totally cool. I see Puppetted Dung as a heavy metal group (of course), mostly because I can't see a boy band or a folk group or a pop group with a word like Dung in their name.

The latest Idiot news

2011-10-03T16:12:00.000-04:00

We are long overdue for a general update from the agency (they are meant to be bi-weekly, but the last one we got was August 30). Today The Idiot sends out an "update", but instead of attaching the update to the email, he copied & pasted each & every one of the agency's client's email addresses in the body of the email. Seriously? There is now absolutely no doubt in my mind that I DO NOT WANT THIS GUY EVER TOUCHING MY FILE EVER EVER EVER AGAIN. That is all.

Still with the angry * UPDATED

2011-09-30T10:30:00.002-04:00

It's kind of fitting that I've open & closed the month of September with an angry post regarding our file. To summarize, it's the same crap, different day. We are no closer to getting our stat dec that we were 30 days ago, and I can't express how much that sucks. Instead of re-hashing the whole thing, here's the email that I sent to the agency this morning. To give you a little background, I stopping dealing with The Idiot about a week ago, and the new guy I've been dealing with, Mr Nice, is very nice & has been helping tremendously. He's the reason we got the email from Helpful Lady, which will hopeful result in the debacle coming to an end. And yes, I copied the director of the agency. All names have been changed to protect the innocent, and The Idiot, and to protect myself from legal action.

"I am very upset at the handling of our file since it transitioned to your agency in April of this year. At that time our file was with the ministry in Ontario, waiting for approval. This approval came through on April 19, as communicated to me by The Idiot. This was the last informative email I received from The Idiot. I have been told numerous times by The Idiot that our file was complete, that nothing was outstanding, that there was nothing missing that would be delaying the statutory declaration. Apparently I have been lied to, and I do not appreciate it. Please see below for a summary of my correspondence with The Idiot (I can provide copies of these emails, if you wish). Before you read this, please note that our original stat dec with the original agency took 3 weeks to be issued.

April 19 – received email from The Idiot that ministry approval had been received.
May 4 – emailed The Idiot to enquire as to the status of our stat dec.
May 10 – received reply from The Idiot indicating that our file had been updated waiting for the stat dec.
May 24 – emailed The Idiot to ask about stat dec, was told that it had been issued & that MoT were awaiting its arrival from the Ethiopian embassy.
June 8 – emailed The Idiot to ask if stat dec had arrived from embassy, was told that our file was sent to be notarized & the stat dec was being processed. I asked why I had been told on May 24 that the stat dec had been issued.
June 14 – received email from The Idiot noting that our file was updated & was getting authenticated. There was no explanation of why I had been told that the stat dec had been issued when it hadn’t.
July 20 – emailed The Idiot to ask about status of stat dec.
July 21 – received reply from The Idiot that stat dec had gone to Ottawa, then to Ethiopian Embassy, that new agency was awaiting its return.
August 26 – emailed The Idiot to ask about stat dec. I asked why it was taking so long, and if there was anything missing from my file. I was told that all documents were in order.
August 31 - At this time, due to a post in an August update, I also asked if there was a fee involved with the stat dec. I was told that yes, there was. Please note that this is the first time I was notified of a fee for the stat dec.
September 1 – emailed The Idiot several times to find out the cost involved & whom to make out the cheque to. I was told by The Idiot that the fee was $131.00 & that the cheque was to be made out to the Ethiopian Embassy. I confirmed this with him several times, as I had heard that other families had been charged $282.50 & that their cheques had to be made out to the original agency. I was assured that the charge was $131.00. My husband sent out the cheque on September 3. At that time he requested a receipt from The Idiot, but we have never received this requested receipt. At this time I do not know if the cheque has been cashed.
September 19 – emailed The Idiot to enquire about status of stat dec.
September 20 – was advised by The Idiot that the stat dec had been issued, that he knew this because he had produced it himself. I asked The Idiot if our updated file was on its way back to Ethiopia now. I did not receive a reply.

This ends my correspondence with The Idiot on the status of our stat dec. I started dealing with Mr Nice after September 20, and I must say that he has been nothing but courteous & helpful. That brings us to today, and your email asking for notarized documents (which we are happy to provide, and would have been happy to do so 5 months ago, had we been asked to have them notarized). I will require confirmation from you (Helpful Lady) that the charge for the stat dec is $282.00, and not $131.00 as we were previously told. If the charge is indeed $282.00, I would ask you to return the cheque for $131.00 that we have already sent to your office, specifically The Idiot.

I would also ask that our file be handled my someone else than The Idiot, as I have found him to be very slow in responding to my emails, and when he does respond, he usually does not answer my questions. When he does answer my questions, I am given wrong information. This is not acceptable, as I am sure you will agree. I look forward to a better relationship with the (new) agency than I have experienced so far (please note that this statement does not include Mr Nice, I have no complaints about him!)."

Seriously? SERIOUSLY?!?!? Today's email was the breaking point, and it's a good thing that I get into work earlier than most of my colleagues, becuase I cried my eyes out this morning, mostly from sheer frustration. With every month that passes, I feel like I'm getting further & further away from being a mom. This sucks.

Update - I received an email from Nice Lady on Friday (after I left work, but whatever, at least she responded same day). I'd sent an email earlier in the day asking her to courier me the paperwork (that needed notarizing) at the agency's expense, because of the LONG delay in getting this issue identified & resolved. She has done so, so hopefully this will all be resolved by the end of the week, so the stat dec can be issued by the end of the month (preferably by the end of next week). My hubby is going to hand-deliver the paperwork to the agency on Thursday, hopefully, and I'm sending him with a list of hard-hitting questions. I had a dream last night that we got our referral, so apparently my subconscious still thinks this will all work out, but we were referred a boy instead of a girl, so even my subconscious thinks the agency isn't done screwing up!

It's a sad, sad situation

2011-09-19T15:17:00.000-04:00

Since we started our adoption, lo these many (almost 4) years ago, we’ve been part of an online adoption group. This group has been invaluable during the process, and was especially beneficial in rallying the troops after the bankruptcy back in 2009. The women (and men, but it’s mostly) of the group have never been shy in sharing their ideas, their expertise, their opinions, their feelings, their questions, & their answers to your questions, and to me, it’s great to have a group of people that know what you’re going through. They’ve either been through it themselves & can offer knowledge & wisdom, or they are going through it with you & can offer commiserations on delays & other issues, or they are a bit behind you in the process & you’re offering them assistance on things you’ve already experienced. That’s just a lot of words to say that it’s a community of like-minded people, and that can be priceless, when you’re waiting & waiting & waiting for your referral (or your court date, or your visa). You may never meet these people in person, but you feel like you know them, via the interwebs.

We lost one of our group this week. A woman who had waited years (with her husband) to bring home their son, a wee boy who just turned 1 year old this past July. They’d only been home with their son for 4 months when she passed away, weeks after being diagnosed with brain cancer. That’s weeks, not months. This is such a tragedy. Not only has a husband lost his precious wife, someone with whom he’d been through so much, a little, little boy, who has already lost so much in his short life, has just lost his second mommy, someone who waited so long for him, someone who was going to love & nuture him for the rest of his life. I just can’t get this family out of my head. I didn’t know them personally, though I recognize the man from some of the bankruptcy meetings that we attended. Brain cancer has taken far too much from too many people this year, and it has to stop. I don’t know how, but it has to stop. Why does it always seem to take the young (or the relatively young), those who have so much live still left to do. Why does it seem to hide & grow in secret, masking it’s symptoms as things that could be “nothing”, until it’s “something” and it’s too late & it’s inoperable? It’s not right. It’s just not right. For all the money that’s spent on wars & government dithering (see the debt reduction debacle in the US lately), and consumerism (who needs multiple lavishly appointed houses & scores of automobiles, and helicopters & private jets & jewel-encrusted dog collars, etc) (not that I am exempt from consumerism – I have always liked to shop!), we could be pouring that money into cancer research, so families can stop having to say goodbye to their loved ones, can stop having to live through months of chemo & radiation & fatigue & financial issues. What’s it going to take for that to happen? Who do we have to lose for the line to be drawn in the sand – here, no further.

So much angry, so little time

2011-09-01T14:57:00.000-04:00

So, it’s been over 4 months now since we received our approval to adopt (from the provincial ministry of child & youth services), and still, STILL we do not have our statutory declaration, which is needed to complete our file. Sure, they’ve told us that, should a referral come up for our family, that the lack of a stat dec will not affect our ability to accept the referral. It IS needed for court, though. Now, don’t get me wrong, we’re not anywhere close to a referral, let alone a court date, but even so, in this crazy, uncertain world of adoption, when you chase paperwork for weeks & sometimes months, any outstanding paperwork (especially something that is out of your control) will drive you crazy. Considering that our first stat dec took 3 weeks to be processed, I think I’ve been pretty patient in the wait for this second stat dec (for our updated file). I haven’t been emailing daily, or even weekly. I email once a month, on or near the date we got our approval (the 19th). And so far, for the past 3 months, the answer has remained the same. It’s with the embassy, and will be sent back to the agency when it’s completed. Every month, the same answer. Considering that, 2.5 years ago, it was possible to complete a stat dec & send it to the agency within 3 weeks, what in the hell is happening now? This isn’t just slow, it’s glacial. And now? Now they’re telling us we have to pay for this new stat dec! I am positive that, with Imagine, you only had to pay for a new stat dec when you were making changes over & above your standard “it’s been 2 years, you don’t have a kid yet, or even a referral, so it’s time to update your paperwork” update. Turns out, I was WRONG. We do have to pay. Again. Some more. When they were going to decide to tell us is anyone’s guess. This, on top of the upcoming Ethiopia program fundraiser that we really want to attend so we can meet the Ethiopian head of the Imagine Ethiopia program, which costs almost as much as the stat dec will cost. The proceeds will go to sustaining the Ethiopian program, but what? Do they think that families who are trying to adopt are made of money? Don’t get me wrong – I’m not angry at having to pay for the stat dec. What I’m angry about? That I had to ask them if we had to pay. At no point were we informed of this requirement. If you need me to pay money for something, don’t you think you should be letting me know that? I have asked the agency on several occasions if we were missing anything, and each time I was told no, everything is in order. I am so flippin’ frustrated & angry about all of this, you have no idea. We have done everything asked of us, and it seems like we’re just running in circles, chasing our tails, getting nowhere. And I cannot tell you how much that sucks. I’m at one of those points (again, some more) where I feel like this is never going to happen for us. Not that there’s anything wrong with being a childless couple, I just didn’t think it was in the cards for us. Time will tell, I guess.

And yeah, the Great Wisdon Teeth Extraction of 2011 went off without a hitch, just in case you wanted to know.

Extreme Home Makeover

2011-08-16T13:23:00.000-04:00

Some of you may have noticed the renovations that have happened on the blog recently (okay, I made the changes about half an hour ago). Since we are not 100% decided on our daughter's name yet, I've made the decision to change the "official" title of the blog from The Wren Chronicles to The (Never-Ending) Adoption Chronicles. I suppose it also reflects my feeling that this adoption will never end, that it will never come to fruition. Yes folks, it's been ages since the last referral (at least, since the last referral that was posted on the Yahoo board), and as you know, that tends to get me down. According to one of the recent updates we received from the agency, they anticipate that referrals will resume in the fall, at a steady, if not accelerated, pace. I sure hope that's true. I also hope that we receive our stat dec soon, it's been almost 4 months now that we've been waiting. I suspect that, once we do receive our referral, the wait for court & visa will seem almost quick (though I've heard the reverse - that the wait for a court date & then the visa - is more difficult, because now you know who you're waiting for). So I guess we sit back & wait, some more. Andrew & I have found a name that we both like, I think (when I mentioned the name to him, he said, "that's really nice"), so here's hoping that the search for a name has ended. I won't tell you what it is, because it's possible we'll still change our minds, but I will say that it is African (but not Ethiopian, that I'm aware of).

Not long now to the Great Wisdom Teeth Removal of 2011 (it is taking place on Saturday, 8am). I am trying to keep it together & be positive, but I am freaking out a little, I won't lie. I think it's the anesthesia that's freaking me out more than anything. I will be fine, though. I'm sure I'll be fine. Send me good vibes, though, okay?

What's in a name?

2011-08-02T13:40:00.003-04:00

It would seem that I am entering the “questioning what to name our daughter” period of the year. This seems to come around annually, so let’s hope that our girl is home by the time it comes around again, cuz this is driving me crazy.

Growing up I was sure that I would have a girl, and that I would name her Madeline, after my grandma (I was named after both of my grandmas). Having come up against infertility, that dream seemed to go out the window. That’s not to say that Madeline isn’t a beautiful name – it is, I still love it, but it doesn’t seems appropriate for a girl of African heritage. Then, much more recently, I decided that I loved the name Wren (hence the name of the blog), but for some reason, that name has fallen out of my favour recently. Good thing we didn’t tell everybody that was going to be our daughter’s name. Oh wait, we did. Sigh. Now I’m at a loss again. I don’t want her name to be too weird, or too common, and I want to use her Ethiopian name as her middle name. Depending on what her name is, we may even keep it as her first name. I am drawn to names that start with Z, for zome reason, but some of the ones I like are already “taken”, and I seem to be having a bit of time “selling” Andrew on the other ones I like. Some of the Z names you see on websites are just plain odd – Zephyr? Zeppelin? Seriously? Isn’t calling your daughter Zeppelin just setting her up for a lifetime of weight issues? Zoe, I like, and Zala. Now I just have to get Andrew to like one of those names too. Last time he vetoed one of the names I suggested, I asked him what were the names that he liked. He didn’t really have an answer. I want us to agree on this, and to pick a name that we both like, but it’s tough when one of you doesn’t seem to care too much about it.

Speaking of things Ethiopian, our close friends (through adoption) are in Ethiopia as we speak, getting ready for their court date tomorrow. I don’t know if they read this blog, but even if they don’t, I want to put this out into the universe. I hope they pass their court date first go, and that the MOWA letter is ready & waiting for them, so they don’t have to wait to be their little boy’s parents “officially”. I’ve been thinking about them all weekend. I also hope that their first meeting with their boy went well. I can’t wait to be in their shoes.

In other speaking-of-things-Ethiopian news, tomorrow also marks 29 months since our dossier first arrived in Ethiopia. I hope that there aren’t too many more months that pass before we know who our daughter is. In the most recent update, the review of orphanages throughout Ethiopia has resulted in some of them being closed. Apparently, this has resulted in an increase of children coming into the orphanages we work with. While it is not good that so many children need to be in orphanages, this might be bringing us closer to our daughter, and to me, that is a good thing. What is not such a good thing? The current state of our dossier, which is STILL not back in Ethiopia. Apparently, it’s still waiting on the statutory declaration (which, seriously?). It’s been over 3 months now that we’ve been waiting, and I’m hoping that’s because the embassy is busy doing other, more important things, and not because there’s something missing from our paperwork. I’ve been assured that there’s nothing missing, but seriously – it took 3 weeks to get the stat dec the first time around. Three weeks! According to the agency, we can still get a referral because our paperwork is up to date, but I would really love to get that updated stat dec in our file & get it back over to Ethiopia. Does it suck when things like this are out of our control? Yes, yes it does.

In baby’s room news, it’s painted, and we bought the crib this past weekend. Not the mattress, just the crib. About a year ago we bought a dresser from Ikea that was tall & white, because we thought it best fit the vision we had of the room at the time (and it was in our price range). We assembled it a couple of weeks ago, and found it no longer fits our vision of the room. We do have a dresser in the spare bedroom that Andrew has had for ages (at least 20 years) that does fit a lot better into the vision – it’s longer & shorter than the other dresser, and almost matches the bookcase that is already in the room. Best of all, we can use it as a change-table, if we add a baby changing cushiony thing (I can’t remember the actual name). I plan to change the drawer handles from the current plastic bar handle to possibly 2 glass-look knobs per drawer (you know what I’m talking about, they are old school), preferably in green, pink & purple, to match the colour scheme of the room. I will post pictures of the completed room, I promise. We have to wait another week to put the decal on the wall (above the “new” low dresser), then we’ll assemble the crib & we’ll be done. Kind of.

Well, that’s all from here. Until next time, I bid you adieu.

The Evening Commute - Stinky edition

2011-07-19T16:07:00.000-04:00

So, yesterday was Monday. Just an ordinary Monday, with work and all. I shuffled off to my car at the usual time, 3.20pm, in the sweltering heat that has become the new norm here in Southern Ontario (seriously - it's going to be at least 30 degrees Celsius EVERY DAY THIS WEEK). The factory had the day off yesterday, so the usual mad panic to exit the parking lot at that time was non-existant, which was a nice change. It didn't take too long to get onto the highway, and there was the usual amount of traffic. I briefing considered taking the toll road home, but then I thought, just take the highway, you'll save some money. So I stayed on the highway, but I got into the Express lanes, because they are usually faster. Usually. Right around the airport the traffic started to really slow down, which isn't all that unusual. Then it came to a complete stop. One minute turned into 5 minutes, which turned into 10 minutes, which turned into me switching from the CD to the radio to find out exactly what was going on. Turns out there was a fatal accident involving 2 cars & a tractor trailer, and the westbound express lanes of the highway were completely closed. COMPLETELY CLOSED. This was my first highway closure, so I took my lead from the other motorists & turned off my car & opened all the windows. Right about that time I noticed that there was a truck ahead of me, the kind of truck that carries livestock. Stinky, stinky livestock. I wasn't game enough to get close enough to tell exactly what kind of livestock, but I can tell you that it reeked of animal waste. Just what you want to smell when you're stuck on the highway with all your windows open in 36 degree heat. Once in a while there would be a cross breeze that would spirit away the stench, but other than that it was a stink-fest. Turned out we were stopped for 1.5 hours, then it took another hour to get home from there once they started let us by on the shoulder. Normally that part of the trip would take 20 minutes or so, but we all had to gawk at the OTHER fatal accident on the eastbound side of the highway. Seriously. I was drenched in sweat by the time I got home a mere 3 hours after I set out (a trip that usually takes 45 minutes to an hour). And that, dear friends, is why you should always listen to the voice inside you that tells you to take the toll road.

1,051,200 minutes....

2011-07-13T16:42:00.001-04:00

That’s how you measure 2 years. Two years since our world fell apart. Two years since the phone call I received from a fellow prospective adoptive parent, telling me that our agency had gone bankrupt, that the executive director had run off with our money. And it’s been almost 2 years since the families of Imagine Adoption banded together & started the hard work of resurrecting the agency, to bring the phoenix out of the ashes. A lot has happened in these last 2 years, mostly good. About a third of the families that signed back up with the agency back in October of 2009 now have their children home, in their arms, forever, or have been matched with the child that will someday be theirs (including our good friends). The Hayhows, who orchestrated this whole mess, have been charged with fraud & been ordered to appear before the court. Of course she’s hired a high-falutin’ lawyer (way to show that you still have some of our money, devil lady), but the evidence is pretty plain. She took our money, she spent it on herself & her house & her horse & fancy cars that were leased by the agency, and she deprived children, already affected by poverty & the loss of their family, of good, nutritious food. Shame on her. Shame, shame, shame. There is a special place in hell for those such as her.

On a personal level, we’ve started to believe that this will happen for us, that Wren (or whatever we decide to call her) will someday be in our arms, and have started preparing a nest for our little bird. We painted her room last week, a soft green called Spirit Whisper. We assembled her chest of drawers & started loading it with all of the clothes we have for her. All of her teddy bears & her special doll from Uncle Billy & Auntie Jenn are sitting on the bookcase waiting for someone to love them. And soon, her crib will also be waiting for her. Still to be decided – where to put the wall decal we bought for the nursery (it’s in one of my previous posts, it’s a bird-cage with lots of birds flying free out of the cage, I’m too lazy to find the previous post & wouldn’t know how to link it if I did) – on the wall with the dresser or over the crib. Decisions, decisions. And we need to get curtains too. There are already blinds but they don’t block out enough light. And, most importantly, we need to decide on a name. I’m starting to waver on Wren as a first name, maybe it’s too weird & unusual. I’m considering Lily Wren, or Madeline Wren, but the final decision will be made when we know what her Ethiopian name is.

And thanks to Rent for the idea for a fancy name for this post.

Prognosis – Not Good

2011-06-28T10:13:00.002-04:00

I’d like to put out an appeal here for some prayers for Andrew’s good friend Georgia. She’s nearing the end of her fight with cancer. I’m praying that the end will be swift & painless, and for peace for her family & friends. I had so hoped that she would be here when we brought Wren home, and that she would school me in the ways of braiding & general hair care, but unfortunately, her illness isn’t going to allow that to happen. Georgia, we’re really going to miss you & your laughter & your funky dancing & your love for Keanu Reeves. Be at peace, my friend.

Edited to add: Georgia passed away last night (6/28). There's a Georgia-shaped hole in the world, and it sucks. A lot.

Adoption Outlook – Promising

2011-06-28T10:12:00.002-04:00

While our referral is still likely to be several months away, there has been movement with referrals (a total of 12 referrals from the beginning of May until today, 4 of those in the last week alone), so the end no longer seems to be quite so far away. There are still approximately 20 families ahead of us with a similar request (that we know about), and about 50 families ahead of us in total. It’s easy to be hopeful right now, when there are referrals, and court dates & visas coming left, right & centre. It’s the rough points, as evidenced by previous posts, that are so hard to handle. It would be so wonderful, so miraculous if I could see my daughter’s face, to know her name, before I turn the big 4-0. I’ve got about 9 months before that happens, so bring it on!

Good times, great taste, less filling

2011-06-28T10:11:00.000-04:00

Okay, maybe not less filling. I mean, who am I kidding? This is me we’re talking about. Since the previous bummer of a post, we’ve taken some time to relax & be around friends & family, and I believe it’s done us a world of good. Earlier in the month we spent a Saturday working/playing in a golf tournament. It’s for a charity set up in the name of a friend of my family who was killed in a workplace accident 15 years ago. The funds raised go toward helping handicapped children participate in sports. There’s always fun to be had, seeing everyone again year after year, helping out signing the golfers in & taking the money for the silent auction items people have won, not to mention having a mostly relaxing day looking out over a peaceful golf course out in the countryside. And one of the golfers/contributors, who happens to work at Breyers, always donates a freezer full of ice cream cones, bars & sandwiches, so that doesn’t suck. Heh.

Last weekend we spent the weekend (and part of Monday) visiting my dad’s side of the family in eastern Ontario. It’s always good to see them & reminisce about the good times, and to visit old haunts. We had dinner at my aunt’s (new) house both nights we were there, with most of my dad’s siblings in attendance. The older I get, the more I appreciate my family (and my extended family), it’s great to be able to spend time with them, and it’s really nice to see my dad completely relaxed & at home (he’s pretty tightly wound most of the time). The place that we stay when we go to visit is situated right on the banks of the St Lawrence River, so the view is always amazing. There are gardens & riverside boardwalks everywhere, and the staff now recognize us when we check in (they should – we’ve been staying there once a year for the last 6 or 7 years!). This year we managed to spot a mink fishing for, well, fish. On the way there, Andrew & I always stop at a cheese factory (cheeserie?) just outside of Belleville that makes the best roasted garlic flavoured cheese curds. Like the title says, good times, great taste.

We’re taking some time off after the Canada Day holiday, and we’ll be spending some of it in Niagara Falls (Ontario & NY), so we’re looking forward to that too. Brazilian BBQ, buffalo wings & cross-border shopping are all on the menu (woohoo!). I’d also like to check out the Cheesecake Factory, but we’ll see how that goes. Another item on the agenda is clearing out & painting the baby’s room.

I’ve just thought of something that qualifies as less filling. We completed our veggie garden about 3 weeks ago, adding butternut squash, tomatillos, cilantro & more pak choy to the veggies we’d already planted (spinach, pak choy, purple peppers, eggplant, mint, & red onions, tomatoes & cucumbers). Apparently Basil the garden mouse saw this as a challenge. A mere 3 days after the planting was complete he decimated the tender new pak choy, and the spinach. Sigh, I give up.

Finally, Willow would like to know where her beer is at, yo.

:(

2011-05-30T10:09:00.000-04:00

I'll preface this by saying that I know it's a bummer of a post, but it's my blog & I'll post what I want to! So there.

The adoption has been on my mind a lot lately, ever since our friends received their referral (on my birthday no less – how cool is that!). There were 3 referrals (that we know of) earlier this month, and nothing (again – that we know of) since then. We’re halfway down the list now, and every referral gets us closer to our girl, but I can’t help feeling really bummed out about the lack of progress. This past weekend, someone close to me mentioned that they thought that couples without children should receive priority for referrals. Wow – that really spoke to me, and I can’t deny that it’s something I’ve thought about a lot. On one hand, I totally understand the current policy, which is essentially first come, first served (or, the family who has the oldest DTE – dossier to Ethiopia date- who is the best match for the child gets the referral). It’s the fairest, least objectionable method. But on the other hand, as a person (and part of a couple) hurtling toward the age of 40, I can’t deny that I cry a little every time someone who already has kids (bio or adopted) gets a referral, or passes court, or travels to pick up their child. Or rants on the adoptive families message board about how everything is so slow & where are the referrals so “she” can get her referral, when “she” already has 2 kids. “She” already knows the joy of children in her life, why can’t those of us who don’t have kids experience the joys of parenthood before those who already have kids add to their family? I fully acknowledge that this is a petty way to think & feel, that these families have been playing the waiting game longer than we have, and are every bit as deserving of a referral as those of us with no children. But I can’t deny that it’s the way I feel, sometimes. And I can’t deny that the fact that the list has at least 50 other families ahead of us waiting on a similar child placement stretches before me like a road that seems to be never-ending. And on that road you’ll sometimes see a mirage, something that makes you think, wow, we’re getting so close to our dream, so close to the end of the road. And then there’s another turn, another detour, another 100 kms to go. And you think, “I’m never going to get there”. And then traffic starts to move again & you think, “hey, we’re almost there” but no, there’s more delays. You lose sight of the destination. You lose hope. And everywhere are reminders of what it’s like when you get there. Big pregnant bellies, tiny babies snuggled in their mother’s arms, baby showers for pregnant co-workers. And still, your arms are empty. And you’re afraid to hope, afraid to start making a place in your home for a child that may never arrive.

And then you realize – CRAP! I forgot to ask my sister-in-law what she wants for her fast-approaching birthday. And – oh man – where are we going to get the money to allow us to take the “40th birthday Hawaii cruise extravaganza!” that will make it possible to see your best friend again, who you haven’t seen in over 3 years, who has a child now that you’ve never met. Where’s Oprah when you need her? And you’re loving your new vacuum, which is Dyson-esque at a much more affordable price, and cleans the floors so well that the colour of the carpet changes back to its “factory setting” (if you will). Darn cats & their shedding…. And you’re looking forward to going out to dinner on Wednesday, because it means you’ll be seeing your friends for the first time since their referral, and you can’t wait to see if they look different, or act different or something, because that’s a major life experience, and it has to change you somehow.

And you think, “you know what? My life’s not that bad, but it’d be so much better if I were a parent”.

You take the good, you take the bad,

2011-05-10T15:22:00.000-04:00

You take ‘em both & there you have the facts of life, the facts of life….. You’re welcome for the ear-worm, I aim to please. So, how have you all been? I’ve been well, thanks for asking. One of the days last week was my birthday, and that’s always fun. Andrew had a out-patient procedure the same day (he had a skin cancer removed from his scalp), so we took the rest of the day off & had a pretty damn good day – lunch at Canyon Creek (which has now surpassed the Keg as my fave steak restaurant) and shopping at Square One was the order of the day. I also received a beautiful lap quilt from my mom a couple of weeks before hand, and a Pandora bracelet from Andrew on the day. I’ve been eye-ing those bracelets for quite a few years now, so it’s nice to finally be able to wear one! Those who know me know of my love for all things sparkly, especially jewelry. It’s always been my “thing”, even when I was a little kid. I think I take after my dad’s mom, who I am named after.

In other good news, our good “adoption friends” that live in our town received their referral at the end of last week, just in time for Mothers Day! They received a referral for a 2.5 year old boy. While we are insanely jealous, we are also over-the-moon happy for them – they’ve been playing the adoption waiting game about 6 months longer than we have. They were open to a child of either sex, up to 36 months old, I believe, whereas we are waiting for a girl, up to 18 months old, so we’ll still be waiting for a while. Not too long, I hope. According to my calculations, we’re about halfway down the list now from our original number of 111. It’s taken us about 1.5 years to come this far down the list, hopefully it doesn’t take us that much longer to get our referral. With all the changes that happen in international adoption, though, you just never know. Anyway, it’s going to be interesting to “know” someone going through the process ahead of us – court date, waiting for visa, picking up the child – it will be invaluable to have a inside perspective on what will happen to us down the road. According to the agency, our file is now waiting for the statutory declaration. Once that is complete, it will go to Ethiopia, and we will once again be “officially” waiting for a referral.

Since the weather has taken a turn for the better I’ve been pottering around the garden a bit more. I’ve been wanting to clean out the dead leaves & such from last year, and finally got a chance to do that yesterday. I also pulled a fair few dandelions – stupid weeds. Our daffodils are blooming, and our tulips look poised to do the same in the next couple of days. One of the tulips is especially special to me – the year before my grandpa passed away (this is my dad’s dad) he gave me some lamium (a ground cover plant) from his garden. Unbeknownst to any of us, in the bunch of lamium he gave me was 1 tulip bulb. The first year, just the leaves came up, which was a surprise in itself. The next year, though, the tulip bloomed. It’s a red tulip, with yellow around the edge of each petal. The petals are pointed, too, as opposed to rounded like a “normal” tulip. I haven’t figured out what kind of tulip it is yet, but it’s the only red tulip in a sea of pink & purple tulips, so it’s pretty unique. After I cleaned out the garden of a winters worth of detritus, I planted some annuals that I picked up at my favourite nursery – some celosias & snapdragons. It already looks a million times better than it did just a day ago. Now we have to get going on the veggie garden but that can wait a few weeks. We did plant some spearmint yesterday, though – mojitos here we come.

Well, that’s all I have to say for today. I’m a bit down & a bit tired & a lot ready for a vacation. Speaking of vacation, we’ve been invited to a wedding in Jamaica next January, but then we’re meant to be going on a cruise in Hawaii next fall (but I’m not even sure if that’s still happening – Vicki?). What to do? We don’t have enough money for both. Who knows – if we get our referral early next year, we may not have money for either. I just know I need to get away, and recharge my batteries.

Well, that's enough random for today.

The House of Mouses

2011-04-28T12:59:00.003-04:00

It’s been quite a while since I last posted, but I haven’t been particularly busy. I just haven’t been in the mood to write, I guess.

So, what’s been happening? In major news, my gorgeous niece Evie turned 2 years old on April 1. She’s a bright little thing, both intellectually & in her personality. Every time we go to visit, she’s at the front door when we pull into the driveway, waving furiously & shouting, “Come in! Come in!”. Then she runs around the house laughing, because she’s so excited that you’ve come to see her. She’s not big on sharing at the moment. Any request for a piece of her food (crackers, strawberries, etc) is met with a “no” and a “shorry!” (sorry). She LOVES her DVDs – the Wiggles is her favourite, closely followed by Bob-pants (Spongebob Squarepants) and SHEEP! (Shaun the Sheep). We were visiting this weekend & watched a couple SHEEP! DVDs, and I must admit, she’s got good taste in that regard. That show is FUNNY. I mean, anthropomorphic claymation sheep, what’s not to like? She’s just got the sweetest temperament, and I love her to bits.

In other news, Andrew has been on a “work” trip for the last week, so it’s just been me & the kittehs, who, contrary to popular belief, are not stunning conversationalists. Expellers of hairballs in the middle of the night? Yes. Champion eaters of kibble? Sure. But conversationally? Not so much. Still, we’ve been having a un-eventful, quiet week, and that’s okay. And tomorrow, one lucky kitteh will join me in watching the royal wedding. Perhaps I could rig up some tiaras for us, to be festive. And some cucumber sandwiches & tea. Hmmmmm. He gets home tomorrow night, though, which is good since I haven’t slept well since he left. The zombification of my brain has been happening for the last 4 days, and it’s not pretty.

In other, grosser, news, we’ve been fighting a war with the mouses in our basement. That’s right – we have/had mouses in our basement. Our first clue was a bag of birdseed with a hole in it, then Pippin’s capture & display of a mouse (it was displayed prominently in our front hall). Our next clue was the mouse poop around the rack where we keep excess foodstuffs & such. Yuck. So we bought some mousetraps – a humane trap, and some snappy ones (not the old-fashioned wood-and-wire snappy one, a la Tom & Jerry – plastic ones with less bite). We have caught 6 mice, including Pippin’s, and there hasn’t been a mouse in the trap in the last 6 days. Hopefully we’re on top of it now, because EWWWWW. One good thing has come of it, though. We’ve made a real start on cleaning the basement, which has been accumulating assorted stuff since we moved in 7 years ago. It’s looking a lot better already.

Hmmmm, what else has been happening? Andrew went on another “work” trip to see a practice round of The Masters golf tournament. He had a great time. I stayed home. Are you starting to see a pattern here? Yeah – guess where I’ve been the last several months? Home. And work. Ooooo, so exciting. Bah humbug.

In adoption news, we received provinicial approval of our dossier last week, so now it gets translated & authenticated or something like that, and sent to Ethiopia. Hopefully it’ll be there soon, and we can get back in line for a referral. There haven’t been any referrals since the “new” agency took over. A lot of people have had quite a problem with the new agency, communication-wise, but it hasn’t been a problem for us, at least not yet. We’ve put off deciding whether to put our file in with CAS for 3 months or so, just to see how things are moving along with the new agency. If April is anything to go by, referrals are not going so great. Oh well, there have been slow months in the past. We just have to be patient, I guess.

And now you’re up to date.

The road less travelled, or, the week that was

2011-03-17T14:05:00.000-04:00

Well, last week was a bugger of a week, wasn’t it. Between the earthquake(s)/tsunami in Japan, the announcement of further delays to the Ethiopian adoption program, and finding out that a close friend of Andrew’s was recently diagnosed with advanced brain cancer, last week REALLY took the wind out of our sails, as it were. We’ve always said, in times of strife (such as when we had 2 cars stolen from us in the span of 10 months), if this is the worst thing that’s happened to us, we’re doing well. And really, it was the truth. I wouldn’t necessarily say that we live charmed lives (other than the fact that, despite growing up halfway around the world from each other, we managed to meet & fall in love), we’re not the sort of people who are offered wonderful trips/opportunities/jobs out of the blue, but we’ve made it this far in our lives with a minimum of heartbreak, stress & tragedy. Perhaps that makes all this bad news even harder to deal with, because we don’t have much of a frame of reference. Especially finding out about Andrew’s friend G’s illness. The reality of it is that the form of cancer she has comes with a life expectancy of 14 months from diagnosis, that the location of the tumours makes them inoperable, that this is the same cancer than took her mom. She’s started treatment, which is good, hopefully that will extend her time with us. And we can always hope for a miracle.

I find it hard to process all of the devastation in Japan, from the massive earthquake to the tsunami to the nuclear emergency. I cannot fathom how it must feel to be at the centre of it all. My heart goes out the Japan and its people. Amazing how an act of nature can erase hundreds of years of advances in technology in the blink of an eye. If it can happen to Japan, it can happen to anyone. It scares me sometimes how attached we are to our highly advanced society, how much we depend on it. We’re so eager to rely on computers to do things for us, instead of people. It’s times like these when that comes back around to bite us in the bum. Even on a small scale, with something like a company’s call answering system. They are so automated lately, because it’s “easier” to get a computer to direct a call where it needs to go, regardless of how many times someone has to repeat themselves, or listen to the menu prompts again, than to have an actual person pick up the phone. And the kicker here – it’s a lot cheaper. Personally, I’d rather talk to a real person from the get-go. And when there are technical issues that stop the answering service from functioning properly? Your customers can’t get in touch with you at all. How is that “better”? How much technology is too much technology? Okay, rant over.

We’re coming to terms with the reality that, in all likelihood, we’re not going to receive our referral any time soon, and likely not this year. Don’t get me wrong, we’re not giving up on our Ethiopian adoption, we’ve come too far & fought too hard for that. But it’s time to look at alternatives for starting a family, seeing as we’re both turning 39 this year. So we’re putting in our application with the CAS (Children’s Aid Society). We’re still in the preliminary stages of doing that, we need to fill out some paperwork, and discuss what sort of “issues” we are open to (with respect to our potential child’s background). It feels good to be doing something, to be moving forward again, and our social worker is all for it, which is nice. Maybe I’m imagining things, but I never felt like she 100% supported our international adoption. So we’re hoping that works out for us. As with any adoption, there are no certainties, and we could still have our Ethiopian daughter home before we get a referral through CAS, but it still feels good to be doing SOMETHING, instead of being at the mercy of a foreign government (even one that is acting in the best interests of its most vulnerable children).

In other news, completely unrelated to any of the news above, it would seem like we have mice getting into our basement somehow. I’m not sure how, though I have my suspicions. Anyhoo, the night before last, Pippin went down into the basement when Andrew opened the basement door. This in itself is not unusual, Pippin loves it in the basement. It’s dark & cool & there are heaps of boxes & pieces of furniture to climb over. We were sitting watching TV after dinner & we heard her come upstairs. We didn’t really think anything of it. That is, until Andrew went into the front room on his way to take the garbage out. There was a small, dead mousie on the floor of the front room. There were no obvious signs of injury, but by its placement it was very clear that Pippin was proudly displaying her catch for us. So, bad news is that we have mice (hopefully “had” mice, but I am not so naïve), the good news is that we have cats. So congratulations Pippin on your first catch! Now both kittehs have proven to be skilled mousers.

My folks have just returned from 3 weeks of cruising/ travelling to Florida to cruise, and they will be coming to spend the weekend with us, which means they are coming to visit The Grandchild. So we will be doing the same, which is no hardship, as Miss Evie is one of the cutest kids I have ever had the fortune to meet. The way she lights up when you enter the room makes you feel amazing.

Well, that’s about all from here. With any luck, soon I’ll be able to post good news.

Seriously?

2011-03-08T13:34:00.001-05:00

I guess the powers that be have been trying to get my mind off worrying about the adoption lately. Sunday night I was getting ready for bed & went to stand in front of the sink to brush my teeth, where I stuck my foot in a lovely, cold puddle of cat piddle. Willow, in her infinite wisdom, backed up too far in the litter box & peed over the edge, where the ridged litter box mat funneled it all to the front of the litter box. Sigh..... So I cleaned that up, took off my socks & washed my foot. They got washed last night & I'm wearing them again today but I could swear that my foot smells like cat pee.

And yesterday. I stopped at the grocery store on the way home to get some stuff for dinner. I brought it all inside & was going to start dinner when I thought, wow, I have to go to the bathroom before my bladder explodes. So I made my way to the powder room. Where I stood in the doorway thinking, that mat looks wet. In fact, the whole floor looks wet. Hmm, that's weird. Then I looked at the toilet & saw a thin trickle of water coming down the outside of the bowl. To give you some background, for a while now, a couple of our toilets have been "running" (it's a dripping in the cistern that you can hear when you're on the throne). So what I figure happened is that my lovely husband has plugged the toilet the previous evening with his nightly deposit, and since then, the dripping has been slowly filling up the toilet, and has had nowhere to go. I will say that there was no visible sign of the toilet being blocked, if you know what I mean. So I ran down to the basement for the mop (that's where it lives), threw off my socks (for the second time in 36 hours), rolled up my pants & waded in, literally. The plunger quickly dispatched the clog, though it added a little more water to the floor - the bowl was that full. And then I set to mopping up the mess. It wasn't easy, the floor was fairly slippery, what with all the water. It took me about 30 min to get the bathroom emptied of items (garbage can, litterbox, etc) & water. Needless to say, I've implemented a double flush rule for the powder room. Sure, it'll waste some water, but so does an overflowing toilet.

Tired

2011-03-07T13:09:00.001-05:00

I’ll warn you now that the following post will likely be a real bummer.

It’s getting more & more difficult to believe that we will ever complete this adoption & bring our daughter home. We joined the world of international adoption knowing that the road ahead would be strewn with bumps & potholes and the odd detour, but we didn’t ever expect it to be this difficult. Though I am a pessimist, I like to think that I’ve kept a pretty level, calm head about me about the bankruptcy and everything associated with that. For some reason, I never really believed in my heart of hearts that the dream was really over. And it wasn’t. And sure, the referrals have been fairly slow, about 5.5 per month for the first year, but that was okay too, at least it was moving at a fairly steady pace. And then it was coming up on 2 years since our dossier hit Ethiopia, so we had to renew a bunch of our paperwork. No problem there, we’d done all that before, so there was nothing difficult about that. So our dossier is now with the government for approval, which there is no reason to believe we won’t get, they approved us before. And there were worries about the long-term stability of the agency, because of the slowdown in referrals. That scared me a bit – would we get our referral before the funds ran out? Then came the new agreement with another local agency, which helped ensure that the agency would stay open. Amazing, considering the position we were in just a year & a half ago. And there have been various other bumps on the Ethiopian side too – requests for more paperwork (birth certificates, death certificates, a new undertaking letter), a hold being put on adoptions of relinquished children is one region, but we weathered it all. Perhaps there wasn’t always a smile on our face, but we were still on the road. But then, a post on an American website, saying that Ethiopia would be cutting the number of inter-country adoptions it processes per day, by up to 90%. In the word of the article, “Ethiopia’s Ministry of Women’s, Children’s and Youth Affairs has issued a directive saying it will process a maximum of five inter-country adoptions a day, effective March 10. Currently, the ministry is processing up to 50 cases a day… the reduction of up to 90 percent in cases will allow closer scrutiny of documents used to verify a child’s orphan status.”
I am all for transparency in adoption, and for making sure that the children up for adoption are legitimately adoptable. I would hate to have any suspicions at all that my adoption was tainted with corruption. But this news (the agency hasn’t verified it yet) has hit me like a ton of bricks. Will it slow the number of adoption from a trickle to a drop? I estimate that we are around #62 on the list for a single referral, if less referrals start coming in, how much longer will we have to wait? Another 2 years? Another 5 years? What would happen to the program in that time? From the sounds of the article, the slowdown would be on the post-referral side. So, would you get a referral & then have to wait months & months & months for a court date? I don’t know what to think. My head is telling me that I need to bide my time, to see how the program progresses in the next few months. But after that, then what? We can’t afford to change programs at this point, and what program would we change to? I’m scared. Scared to start painting & decorating a nursery that may never house my daughter, scared to buy anything at all for her, scared to get my hopes up that this will all work out. I need to keep believing, to keep hoping, to keep the faith, but I don’t know how long I can do that. I’m tired of feeling anxious, I want to feel joyous. I’m just tired, deep down inside, in my soul. Tired.

Awesome band names, it's-been-too-long edition

2011-02-11T13:10:00.000-05:00

In the long awaited (by whom, I'm not sure) return of Awesome Band Names, I bring you a band name that is, at once, toothy & sweet. Ladies & gentlemen, give a rousing welcome to BADGER NANNY! I picture Badger Nanny to be a retro style hard rock band in the mold of T-Rex or The Darkness, all long & lanky, with long hair & very tight pants & kimono tops (this is making me think of Robert Plant, for some reason. Anyway, look for Badger Nanny, coming to an arena near you!

More ch-ch-ch-changes......

2011-02-11T13:04:00.000-05:00

One thing is certain in the world of international adoption - nothing is ever set in stone. There are no guarantees, and if anyone tells you there are, they are lying. The big news this week is that our agency, Imagine, has entered into an agreement to merge with another agency, Mission of Tears. On most levels, I think this is a good thing. Mission of Tears has been in business for almost 20 years, and from what I've read, is a reputable agency. This also puts our agency on a more stable financial footing, which can only be a good thing. A couple of things worry me a bit, though. Taking on the Imagine case files will likely treble the MoT caseload, and we don't know that the current staff can handle this huge increase in cases, which may affect communication & the efficiency thereof. Also, there was a statement in one of the press releases that intimated that MoT has the right to decline to work with any file/request they deem "challenging". Our file is, for all intents & purposes, a "normal" file, we are both still fairly young, financially stable, and in a stable relationship, however there is always the possibility that my weight will become an issue, though I pray that it does not. And finally, the agreement (which takes affect in 3 months) means that the Imagine office will close, putting all the people that worked to bring the agency out of bankruptcy out of a job, as far as we know at the moment. Having said all that, I am happy to have received this email, rather than one saying that, due to the decrease in referrals, the agency was closing due to lack of funds. That would have broken my heart. I've been putting off starting the baby's room until I saw the second status report from the bankruptcy trustee, and now that I've seen that & received the merger email, I am feeling more confident about breaking out the paint & setting up the chest of drawers.

I must admit, I was starting to get really worried about the viability of Imagine in its current form, considering the downturn in referrals. November appears to have been an anomaly, with its 18 referrals. Due to requirement for more paperwork on the Ethiopian side for the children being placed for adoption, there have been only 2 referrals in January & 2 in February so far. All our paperwork is collected & sent to the agency, so we are hoping for an increase in referrals soon. We still need to wait for ministry approval, but hopefully that won't take as long as it did last time. All in all, I remain cautiously optimistic about this adoption. Optimistic enough to purchase an adorable stuffed sheep (about the size of a cocker spaniel) for Wren's room. We've christened him Reg, which is a good solid Aussie name, because what's more Australian than a sheep?

Homesick

2011-01-25T21:58:00.001-05:00

Today (1/26) is Australia Day. Ever since we've moved to Canada, Andrew & I have always done something special on Australia Day, whether it's making Aussie meat pies (frustrating due to over-kneading of the dough for the top of the pies) or a dinner of kangaroo loin with a pomegranate balsamic reduction (soooooo delicious....drool....). This year we're meeting up with friends for dinner & some Aussie wine. It's been almost 9 years since we left Sydney (I can't believe it's been that long), and still, almost every day, I miss Australia so much that it physically hurts. Of course, it doesn't help that we've been watching the episodes of Oprah's Aussie Adventure recently. I mean, in the past 6 months, Oprah's been closer to my best friend than I have! Seriously, my best friend was at the taping of one of the Sydney shows.

So, in honour of Australia Day, I'll leave you with some of the words of Peter Allen, from his song, "I still call Australia home". They really ring true for me.

I've been to cities that never close down
From New York, to Rio & old London town
But no matter how far, or how wide I roam
I still call Australia home.

I'm always travelling
And I love being free
And so I keep leaving the sun & the sea,
But my heart lies waiting - over the foam
I still call Australia home.

All the sons & daughters, spinning around the world
Away from their families & friends.
But as the world gets older & colder & colder
It's good to know where your journey ends.

But someday we'll all be together once more
When all of the ships come back to the shore.
I realize something I've always known
I still call Australia home.

But no matter how far or how wide I roam,
I still call Australia, I still call Australia,
I still call Australia home.

It's a good day...

2011-01-20T17:28:00.002-05:00

Because, at long last, there has been a referral in January! A 4 month old baby girl! Squee!

Long long ago, in a galaxy far, far away…

2011-01-17T14:38:00.001-05:00

It seems like that long ago that I posted an update on this blog. It’s pretty evident that I am not a writer, blog or otherwise. I can’t seem to motivate myself to blog most of the time, and the fact that I’m consistently busy at work (not super busy, just consistently busy) doesn’t help matters.

So, where did we leave things? November was the awesome-est month for referrals since the agency came out of bankruptcy. December was less so, but there were still 5 referrals that month, and that is better than a slap in the face with a cold, wet fish. January has sucked the big one so far, but there have been more changes (requirements, really)(shocking, I know) on the Ethiopian side so that seems to be the reason for the slow-down. Hopefully it will pick up again soon. The last time there were changes of this nature the referrals slowed down for a month or two, but then they started flowing again. All in all last year there were 68 referrals. Hopefully this year will have just as many, if not more. We continue to update our paperwork for our dossier, since the majority of it has expired in the last 2 + years since we gathered it the first time. We got almost everything we need, except a reference from one of our friends/neighbours, who we asked BEFORE CHRISTMAS. Seriously, it’s just our adoption, no need for speed or anything. Grrrrr. We’ve since asked another friend for a reference. This stuff stresses me out big time. Our social worker is drafting the update to our homestudy, then everything goes to the agency, then to the government ministry responsible for giving us approval to adopt. They approved us last time, so hopefully they will approve us this time. There have been very few changes in the last few years, and most of them were positive changes. Fingers crossed. Prayers wouldn’t hurt either, if you’re that way inclined.

We’re going to an adoption get-together this coming weekend. There will be families there that have adopted from all over the world, and also families still waiting for their children, like us. I’m really looking forward to it – we went a couple of years ago (we were waiting for ministry approval at the time) and it really charged my adoption batteries seeing all those beautiful blended families. I can’t wait to re-charge my adoption batteries again!

In other adoption “news”, we’ve decided which way to go, crib-wise. We were mulling over purchasing a convertible crib, which would convert from a crib to a toddler bed to a day bed to a double bed, but we’ve decided against it. Wren’s room just isn’t big enough to hold a double bed & still have room to move around. Obviously she won’t be in a double bed any time soon, but we have no plans to move any time soon, so it would just be a looming problem. We’ve pretty much decided to go with a very funky green crib from Ikea. It’s low enough that we won’t have any problems getting Wren out of it without standing on our tippy-toes – “normal” cribs can pose that problem, now that drop-side cribs are banned in Canada (or as good as banned). Andrew & I are not exactly tall. When she outgrows the crib we’ll put her in a single bed with removable side rails.

In other “news”, Christmas was a lot of fun. My parents hosted this year, so that was nice (we hosted the last 2 years). Evie (my niece) was old enough to enjoy it this year – she was 20 months at the time. She got a “laptop” that went everywhere with her. She would walk over to you, plop it down beside you & start typing away. Kids really do learn by example. And every time you would sneeze she would say “Bwess you!”. We saw her last week, and at one point my mom offered everyone a chocolate covered cookie. She spotted the tin of cookies, and with a voice just full of awe, said “Ohhhhhhh, look at that!” She is SO DARN CUTE! I can’t wait to have a cutie of my own. Sigh. It’ll be a while……

We’ve finally joined the age of HD TV, just after Christmas, so the last 3 weeks have been spent (mostly by Andrew) flipping back & forth from the HD channel to the “normal” version, going, “Wow, look at the difference!”. It is nice, and the TV weighs less than half as much as the old-style TV we had. We are simple folk. The old TV now resides in the basement, which is slowly getting cleaned up. I keep telling Andrew to not wait for me – I am a horrible pack-rat & will keep anything I think may be useful in the future. It’s better if he just does a slash & burn-type clean up (with no actual burning, of course).

Well, that’s about all from here. I’ll try to update more often, maybe even from my iPod (the spelling mistakes alone will be hilarious!).

Awesome band name of the month

2010-12-14T18:40:00.000-05:00

There's no use in pretending that I post here every day, or even every week. I do fully intend to post something meaningful again soon - last month was a banner month for referrals - 18! seriously! - and there have been still more referrals this month (about 4 or so). We've also been re-doing our adoption paperwork as most of it has expired. Hopefully the ministry will ignore my weight this time, seeing as I'm perfectly healthy. I pray for that every day.

Anyhoo, enough faffing about. This month's awesome band name is Noxious Fruit Loops. To me they are a classic punk band, colourful mohawks & all that jazz. I'd compare them to an existing punk band but my knowledge of such things is woefully incomplete.

Awesome band name of the week

2010-11-18T12:58:00.000-05:00

This time I thought I'd draw on my Dutch heritage to bring you yet another AWESOME BAND NAME! So, without further ado - Klompen! Klompen (I'm not 100% sure of the spelling) is what the Dutch call wooden shoes. I see Klompen - the band - as a theatrical metal band, who always where wooden shoes, and sometimes use them to great affect, especially when they're trying to elicit audience participation. Of course, the crowd would also be wearing their klompen, so audience participatin would be DEAFENING.

Bountiful harvest

2010-11-03T15:46:00.001-04:00

After a couple of months of slim pickings, now you have 3 posts to read. Enjoy! And get off my lawn. That is all. And please feed the fish on your way out.

I was going to call this n-n-n-n-n-nineteen, but I was wrong

2010-11-03T15:45:00.000-04:00

So, today is the 20 month anniversary of our dossier arriving in Ethiopia. At first I though it was the 19 month DTE anniversary, but that's because I set up the Outlook reminder wrong. So, what does this mean? Well, on the face of it, it means that we’re still waiting to be a family with a daughter. In addition to that, it means that we should start renewing our paperwork (police clearances, medicals, etc) so we can get our dossier renewed. Not that there’s really any rush at the moment, since there are still approx 75 families ahead of us in line. Did I think we’d be here at 20 months DTE? Interesting question. Well, if you’d asked me that at the beginning of our adoption journey, I’d likely have said we’d have our referral by now, and we’d be waiting for our daughter’s visa, and buying up baby clothes like crazy. And putting the nursery together. Ah, I was so naïve then. And then, 4 months after our dossier arrived in Ethiopia, the agency went bankrupt. That set us back about 5 months, but that was okay, because we brought the agency out of bankruptcy – at least our dream was still alive. The first few months brought lots of referrals, and lots of optimism. And then the referrals started to slow down. And then they stopped for a while. And my hope slowly started to fade. So I revised my thinking to – we’ll have our referral in the first quarter of 2011. Referrals are still pretty spotty, 10 months after the agency started up again, but it’s not the agency’s fault. There have been a lot of administrative changes in Ethiopia, all in the name of making sure these adoptions are ethical, not just for our agency, but across the board. There’s a lot more paperwork involved on the Ethiopian side now, and it’s taking a long time to gather, in most cases. So where before we would see referrals of children as young as 1 month old, now the youngest I’ve seen lately is 4 months old. Add another month or two for a court date (which we now have to travel too – it’s not a bad thing!) and, after a successful court date, another 3-4 months waiting for the visa to be processed, you’re bringing home a 10 month old, and that’s being very optimistic. They’re likely to be at least 12 months old, and that’s if they come into the orphanage as a newborn, and I’m not sure how often that happens. So instead of our request for an infant, we’re thinking of raising our request for a girl of up to 24 months old at the time of placement (that means at the time she comes home with us for good). The agency has recently signed on with a new orphanage but they’re still finalizing the paperwork so we haven’t seen any referrals from that orphanage yet. Hopefully they will start happening soon, so we can see what age range is coming out of that orphanage. I’d still really like to adopt a baby, to change our request to a child of up to 18 months at the time of placement, but that could be setting ourselves up for a LONG wait. I’m already barreling towards 39, then 40, so I really don’t want to wait too long to be a mom of a young child! If you asked me today when I thought we’d receive our referral, I think I’d honestly have to say – I don’t know. I honestly don’t have any idea when I’ll be a mom – and that both terrifies & saddens me. It’s tough seeing everyone have what I want. Sure, I’m jealous of people who fall pregnant easily, or even with difficulty – because they’re on the road, they’re parents. It’s a club I can’t be part of, no matter how much I wish to be.

Awesome band name - Amazing Race edition

2010-11-03T15:42:00.005-04:00

Today’s totally awesome band name is courtesy of the Amazing Race episode from a couple of weeks ago (they were in Sweden). I give you……2 Large Cod & a Chainsaw. I imagine 2LCAC would have 2 guys dressed as fish, and a dude with a chainsaw. Quite a riveting stage act, really.

Where's Janna?

2010-11-03T15:42:00.002-04:00

What have we been up to lately? Well, we took last week off, to go shopping in the US & to celebrate our 16th wedding anniversary, and because we have vacation time to burn. We went down to my parents on the Monday, to prepare for an early departure time on Tuesday morning. Tuesday we headed out to Frankenmuth, which is a predominantly German-themed town with a gigantic Christmas store. Seriously, I’m pretty sure it covers several acres. I got some cool ornaments – a tiny violin for Andrew, a black cat ornament for Willow (Pippin already has her own ornament), a kangaroo for me & a black angel for Wren. We hung out around Frankenmuth for a couple of hours & then headed for the nearby outlet malls, stopping at the W@lmart-esque grocery store along the way. Among other things, I bought Frankenberry cereal (in retrospect, Count Chocula might have been a better choice), Hello Kitty bandaids & malted milk powder, so we can have vanilla malt milkshakes. Then we checked into the hotel & passed out for a while. Then we hit the outlet mall for a while, had some dinner, then headed back out for more shopping. I finally replaced my Nike Shox, which were quite old & odiferous. Then back to the hotel to watch Glee with my folks (not sure my Dad has ever watched the show) – it was the Rocky Horror Glee Show episode. Wednesday was much the same, just different stores. While we didn’t go hog-wild, both Andrew & I got some really nice clothes & shoes, so it was worth the trip. Then back home on Thursday, to a couple of kitties who had missed us A LOT, and have stuck to us like Velcro ever since. Pippin’s been curled up on my chest every night since then, which Andrew says looks like a 10-year old trying to fit in their old stroller (because she takes up a lot more room that she used to when she was a kitten). Didn’t do much on the weekend (I hurt my back getting in & out of my dad’s SUV when we were in the US – I’m short, y’all). And I’ve been busy work-wise, trying to catch up. Now you’re up to date. Now get off my lawn!

Awesome band name

2010-10-24T09:30:00.000-04:00

I do mean to post more, but I've been so darn busy at work that I haven't had a chance recently. Enjoy the latest awesome band name - Rigid Turkey! I know, how do I come up with this stuff?

Awesome band name of the week

2010-10-06T21:24:00.000-04:00

Unusually Large Udders. Of course, to their fans they would be known as ULU, which is far less complicated & much easier to remember.

Lest you think I am all about fluff pieces these days, I am thinking about posting something other than silly band names - Ijust haven't had enough time at work lately to compose anything other than diatribes about how EVIL & USELESS our warehouse in the States is. Seriously, if they ship one order correctly it's a fricking miracle. So, keep checking back, I just might surprise you. Then again, maybe not.

Awesome band name of the week - SPECIAL EDITION

2010-09-28T13:03:00.000-04:00

Due to popular demand, I give you the second awesome band name of the week. This has been in my back pocket for years, and I think it's time to unleash it on the world. I give you...... FISH PANTS!

Again, I must say that these names are all made-up by me, as far as I know. If there is a band out there with the name Fish Pants, I apologize for stealing your thunder. And your pants, made of fish.

Awesome band name of the week!

2010-09-27T12:05:00.001-04:00

This is a new feature here at the Wren Chronicles - the awesome band name of the week! To be clear, these are names I have created all by myself, and any resemblance to band with the same name is purely coincidental. So, without further adieu, I give you.....

RUBBER SKUNK!!!!

I can just picture it - thanks everybody, we've been Rubber Skunk - Good night!

Sigh......

2010-09-24T14:42:00.002-04:00

Once again I’ve gone all incommunicado, but the truth is, I haven’t really had much to say. It’s been a busy month & a quiet month, all at the same time. We spent the weekend of the 11th in my hometown, combining trips to the dentist, the wedding of close family friends and a fish & chips dinner at the Moose Lodge. We still go to the dentist in my hometown because he’s taken care of my teeth pretty much since I’ve had them, and Andrew really likes him too. The wedding was for the daughter (one of a pair of twins) of our close family friends. It was a huge blast from the past – I used to babysit the twins, and the daughter of other family friends, who was also there, used to babysit my brother & I. It was all circle-of-lifey. The fish & chips dinner will amuse those of you who know me (I hate fish – always have). We went with my mom & dad, and were the youngest adults there be a long stretch (the average age must have been hovering around 70). As far as I was told, there was only fish to be had, because it’s not a restaurant, you know. So it was chips & a bun & a piece of cake for me. Then one of the other ladies there informs us that, no, it’s not just fish, you can also order chicken fingers if you don’t eat fish. Oh sure, tell me that AFTER I’ve had my dinner. Regardless, it was a lot of fun, spending some quality time with my mom. She’s heading off with her best friend soon, on her trip to Medugorje & the Vatican (with a stop in Assisi), so I also helped her get some clothes for her trip. It was her birthday on the 19th, so we took her up to the Martyr’s Shrine for mass (she’s always wanted us to go to mass with her), then to lunch at a place with really good BBQ meat & butter tarts, but with horrendous service & small portions. Then we went to St Marie among the Hurons, then home. It was a great day, and my mom really, really enjoyed it. There was a special function going on at the Shrine, so it was full of people & priests & bishops. I think it did my mom a lot of good to see so many people who share her beliefs. I don’t practice the faith myself, but it also did my heart good to see it – lots of people together with a common purpose & a sense of community. And I found a stick from an oak tree with lots of acorn “hats” (tops) on it, so there is that. I call it my “stick of many hats”. I’m weird like that.

There’s only been 1 referral so far this month, which has been getting me down. The agency has signed an agreement with a new orphanage that we will be “exclusive” with, so hopefully referrals will pick up soon. As it is, it’s been rather inconsistent, so you get great months like last month, which really buoy your spirits, and then you get months like this with little or no referrals. It seems sometimes like we’ll never be a family, and I hate feeling like that.

Movin along, singin a song

2010-08-24T16:41:00.001-04:00

Apparently I am like, physic or something, because since my last post there have been 4 referrals (I think 5, actually, but I don't know who the 5th one is)! There was a referral for a 5 month old baby girl, and 3 sibling referrals in as many days! That is big news for those waiting for sibling referrals, as there has only been 2 in the 8 months since the agency has been back in business. These 3 sibling referrals makes 5 total. Every little bit helps, and we're getting closer every day to our Wren.

We were out at Ikea the other day, and we found the perfect crib for us! It's part of the Sniglar series, and it's a beautiful bright green! It's also much lower than the crib we currently have, which suits us down to the ground, as we are not tall. This will make it easier for us to lift Wren out of the crib. We're giving our current crib, which was a hand-me-down from a friend, to my parents so they have a crib at their place, and they are going to get us the Ikea crib. I am so excited! I want to start on the nursery now!

Incommunicado

2010-08-19T18:25:00.000-04:00

I've been out of touch for a while, not for any particular reason, just didn't really have much to say. We had some busy weekends, and some not so busy weekends. We had a lose-some-braincells weekend (the August long weekend - caipirinhas & too much wine) too - we had some friends over & did a ripper of a jerk pork tenderloin meal - so spicy!!! After doing nothing at all the next day, we spent the holiday Monday making basil pesto with the basil from our garden. We ended up with 8 cups of pesto at the end of it, and there's almost as much basil still left in the garden, so we'll be doing it all again in a few weeks. We've had this week off work, the first true vacation we've had this year. We went up to Midland, and took in the sights there. We visited the Martyr's Shrine first, then Sainte Marie among the Hurons & Wye Marsh the next day. Andrew took one of the more secluded paths into the marsh & ended up face to face with a beaver up a tree. He stayed put long enough for Andrew to get a picture then scampered down the tree & took off into the marsh. Anyway, it was a nice break, and it's a beautiful area. The shrine is so peaceful, it was good to be able to sit & comtemplate, and pray for some of those close to me, especially my aunt, who has had another lung cancer diagnosis. She was diagnosed a few years ago, and had surgery to remove the cancer, but she only had 2 chemo treatments before she had her strokes. We're waiting to hear now how they will treat it this time, if at all. My dad is also having stomach problems, he's had tests to see what's going on. The doctors think he has a condition that is a precursor to cancer, but they aren't sure how advanced it is. We'll know at the end of this month, and we'll be able to decide how to treat it. And on Monday of this week, my mom phoned to tell me that the husband of a dear family friend passed away after routine surgery at the age of 64. He had a heart problem, and I guess his hear couldn't handle it. I can't imagine taking your husband into hospital for something routine, and him never coming home again. It would be devastating, absolutely devastating.

I didn't intend for this post to be a bummer, but that's how it's been around here for the last couple of weeks. Let's hope things get better from here on out, and that referrals start up again. It's been about a month since the last referral. Let's face it, I'm not getting any younger. Have a great week everyone, let's hope only good things are on the horizon!!!

Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes

2010-07-23T13:23:00.000-04:00

I've updated the masthead (?) of the blog, as I'm playing around with different spellings of my to-be daughter's name. What do you think? Wren? Wrenn? Renn? I'm not sure. I see the name much more often than even last year, when we chose it. And here I thought I was being unique. You know, growing up I was never able to find any of the "name tchotkes" with my name on it (at least not spelled correctly) - like pens or pins or pads of paper. Why shouldn't my daughter have the same experience as her mother? Heh - I'm not bitter.....

Another change is that as of next week, I'll be doing my same job but out of another location. Right now I have a 45 min commute using the never-all-that-busy toll road. Now I'll be taking the main highway (one of the busiest in North America) the whole way. I've never driven that particular stretch of that highway so this should be interesting. I've worked out of the "new" office before, but not for the last 6 years. Well, it may not make my life any easier, but it's an adventure, that's for sure. It's not the end of the world, which you would have thought if you'd seen the way some of my co-workers reacted. Sheesh. On the this-news-is-awesome front, my co-worker that I have actively despised since the day she started has quit!!!! Best new eva.

Last weekend my parents came for a visit. Some close family friends from Australia were visiting, and they brought them down our neck of the woods to show them the sights in Toronto, and for a visit too. It was so good to see someone from "home", it was like we'd just left yesterday. We took them up the CN Tower (wow, has that gotten expensive!) and for a drive to some of the prettier areas of the city. It was the Toronto Indy weekend, so some of the roads were closed, but it wasn't too bad when we were there. We could even see the Indy cars practising & hear them from the top of the tower, it was pretty cool. Anyway, all that to say that it was great to see some Aussies again.

One last thing - there's been 5 referrals so far this month! That's awesome! We may just become a family some time in the next decade!

Have a good weekend everyone!

The huntress

2010-07-15T13:04:00.003-04:00

So, last weekend Andrew & I were out in the backyard one morning, pottering around the yard & garden. Willow was out with us, we let the cats outside when we are there to supervise them. Anyhoo, she was stalking bugs & fluffs & whatnot, as she is wont to do, when all of a sudden I see a flurry of activity & hear an almighty SQUEEK! Ladies & gentlemen, Miss Willow caught a mouse! My wee kitty is a mouser! She dropped him on the ground & kept stepping on him, then looking at me for guidance, like "What do I do with it now?".Considering how much of a pain in the ass the mice have been garden-wise this year, we are rather proud of her. She didn't kill him per-se, and she didn't even break the skin. I think she must have crushed his poor little chest, as he passed away soon after the attack. We wrapped him in paper-towels & put him in the bin. The next morning when we let her out again, she went straight to the spot where the mouse had been. She's a clever cookie.

A referral, close to home

2010-07-13T20:51:00.002-04:00

On this day, of all days, someone known to my family has received the referral they've been waiting so long for! My mom's former physio therapist & his wife received a referral for an almost 3 year old boy. There have been another 2 referrals this month as well, so we are 3 steps closer to Wren. Good news!!!

A year in the life

2010-07-13T18:32:00.003-04:00

So, this time last year I got a phone call from one of my friends that's also adopting from Ethiopia through the same agency as us. Her words sent a chill straight to my heart - the agency has gone bankrupt. We didn't know much in those early days, all of the sordid details started coming out in the days & weeks to follow. But even before the news hit the papers, a group of fine folks were mobilizing, gathering together & refusing to take no for an answer. And here we are, a year later, still on the road to our daughter. Right now, and a lot of times in the past year, the road seems too long, too full of obstacles, too much to bear, but we've got to keep our eyes on the destination. There have been many families who have received referrals since the phoenix rose from the ashes, and they have their kids home, in their arms now. Our turn will come, I just have to keep believing.

Finally some good news!

2010-07-06T22:28:00.006-04:00

After 2 long months, referrals have started up again! Well, only 1 referral so far, but that's more than we've had in the last month & a half, so I'm not complaining! So congrats to the new family, and here's to many more families being made this month! Finally we're headed towards the top of the list (well, I estimate we're about #88 or #87 now. I've honestly lost track. Thank God we have some good news to talk about with our adoption friends on Thursday when we all meet up for wings.

Mah porch

2010-07-05T14:06:00.006-04:00

Happy belated Canada Day, everyone! We spent this long weekend (July 1-2) with family (my parents & my brother & his family), which is how it should be, I think. On Canada Day itself we had a BBQ (burgers, hot dogs, roaster veggies, etc) and Evie showed off her mad walking skillz to us. She's really walking well, but when she wants to get somewhere in a hurry she crawls at the speed of light! And she's at that stage where she's into everything - a little annoying but it's really showing us what we need to babyproof.

On July 2 we got to installing the new aluminum porch railing. My dad took out the old wooden railing before we even got home on the Wednesday, so we were able to paint the pillars on July 1, so we were all ready to go on July 2. It took us the best part of the day to get all three sides of the railing installed, but it looks awesome!

Before

After

July 3 my parents went to visit my brother & then babysat Evie while her parents went out. Apparently she likes to bang on the bathroom door while you are in there, and shout at you. Not sure why - the mind of a 15 month old. Andrew & I stayed home & painted the front door (red - it looks great!) and moved some plants around.

July 4 we went out for brekkie, my parents went home, and we got more plants at the garden centre. And we found out that we have a matching set of mice - one for the back garden & one for the front (which we found out when Andrew spotted a pint lily flower sauntering through the garden by itself). Jerk mice. I hates them.

I feel the earth move under my feet

2010-06-23T14:12:00.002-04:00

So, we just had an earthquake here! According to early reports, it measured 5.something on teh Richter scale, but it didn't feel all that strong. I was sitting in my chair at my desk & just felt a gentle rocking motion. Some of my co-workers are freaking out right now (they need to watch more Discovery channel) but I kinda feel like it's an adventure. The adrenalin is following a little bit, and I'm a teeny tiny bit worried about the kittehs & what they are feeling (Pippin is very sensitive about thunderstorms & such), but all in all - that was FUN! Hey, it could always be a lot worse. Apparently there's also a tornado/thunderstorm watch going on for this area, so perhaps we're all going to hell in a handbasket. I, for one, welcome our new giant ant overlords.....

Story of my life

2010-06-14T12:44:00.002-04:00

So I didn't sleep all that well last night (tossed & turned for an undetermined reason), then I was rudely awakened by Pippin coughing up a hair/grass ball at 4.30am. I swear I'm going to put a stop to her going outside, but she just loves it so much it's hard to say no.

Speaking of outside, the garden is going well, with the exception of the peas, which were once again decimated by Mr Basil the Mouse. He is such a little mousy jerk, but he's so cute. We've blocked his mousy hole with rocks & covered the items he likes with generous amounts of black pepper so hopefully he'll go elsewhere. We also bought a green pepper plant (complete with some juvenile peppers) and a tomato plant (since our tomato seedlings didn't make it) so now we're all done & ready to harvest the goodness in a month or so. We also got some very nice bright pink celosias with burgundy leaves for the front garden - Andrew loves them (I think they look like flaky raw fish - blech).

Let's hope this evening brings better sleep, and no hair/grass balls. I could use a good sleep!

Hiding away from the world

2010-06-13T21:25:00.004-04:00

I find myself wanting to stay at home & wallow in my own sadness more & more these days. While we've been really busy every weekend, everyone's always asking about the adoption and the lack of referrals lately is making it really hard to talk about it. There's only been 1 referral in the last month & a half, apparently because of increased paperwork requirements on the Ethiopian side. I completely agree with there being increased assurances that birth parents are giving up their children for the "right" reasons, and ensuring they are not being coerced to do so, and it really makes me feel like an awful person to wish that there would be more referrals, because that means more families in Ethiopia are irreparably broken, but I really wish there were more referrals, so we could get closer to being a family.

In other news, we attending the golf tournament this weekend, and it was very very well attended. It's a charity tournament held every year by the family & friends of the son of my mom's best friend, who was died after being burned in an explosion at his workplace. His mom has become very active in workplace safety since then, and the money raised by the golf tournament goes towards specialized sports equipment for physically handicapped children. We always have a great time - Andrew golfs & I sign in the golfers & take the money from the silent auction winners. Good times! Next weekend we're going to see Jon Stewart (Stew-beef!) at the casino. Can't wait!

Welcome to the club!

2010-05-25T17:12:00.002-04:00

Born to my best friend (it would be silly to say that she completes me, but it's 100% true), a precious baby boy, Jack Thomas, at 12.05am local time on 5/26/2010. He weighed 8 lbs & was 52 cm long. Here's what I know - he took his own sweet time getting here (she was induced at 7pm on 5/24), Mum & baby are both doing fine & Dad is exhausted, and this is one of the most anticipated babies in the history of time. I can't wait to see a picture of his sweet, sweet face! Can't deny that I'm insanely jealous, and wondering if I'll ever experience the same wonderment of looking at my baby's face for the first time. But this isn't about me, it's about sweet Jack! Kinda funny that he came into the world as 2 of the best known Jack's of entertainment graced our screens for the last time - Jack Bauer of 24 & Jack Shephard of Lost. A coincidence, sure, but it sure is a funny one! I can't wait to talk to my friend & get all the details!!!

Gone gone gone been gone so long

2010-05-20T21:11:00.003-04:00

I've been gone gone gone so long. Sorry about that! No reason in particular, I just wasn't feeling wordy. We had a great weekend last weekend, but busy! On Friday night & all day Saturday we took part in a pilot group of our local council's Transracial Parenting course for adoptive & foster parents. Andrew & I both felt that we really benefitted from attending. It was taught by someone who is transracial herself, so she could really relate to the subject material. Then Saturday evening we went over to our friends' place for dinner. We haven't seen them in almost 5 months, so it was so much fun to just go there & relax, hang out & partake in some very good food (a gourmet cheese plate - including a triple cream brie - and bison striploin steaks cooked Tuscan style.....yum!) and some stellar red wines. On Sunday we slept in a little, then went to see Iron Man 2 (loved it!!!) and had wings & appetizers for lunch. It was a great weekend. I'm hoping this weekend will be just as good. On Saturday I'm going to the Niagara region with a friend & her friends to celebrate her 35th birthday, then on Sunday we're going to a Welcome Summer party at our adoption friends' house. It's an afternoon party, so we're going to aim to be home in time to catch the Lost series finale. On holiday Monday we might go see Shrek Forever After. We're going to work on planting the veggie garden too. The best thing that's happening on May 24 is this - my friend is going to be induced, and she'll finally meet her child. Oh how I wish I could be there to witness that! Next weekend is the wedding & my dad's birthday. Lord knows what I'm going to get him for his birthday! He's so hard to buy for.

Well that's all for now! Have a great weekend everyone, and Vicki? Push him out push him out WAY OUT! Much love to you & Darren.

So far away

2010-05-10T17:43:00.006-04:00

I am feeling so far away lately. Since yesterday (Mother's Day) I've been feeling far away from being a mother. I still feel that this adoption will be successful, but not knowing when is pretty upsetting sometimes. On a day when society celebrates mothers, I feel so invisible. And I'm feeling so far away from my best friend, who is in her last weeks of pregnancy with her first, long-awaited child. Her baby shower was just over a week ago, and seeing the pictures of the shower & the pictures of her so heavily pregnant is like a dagger in my heart (to be melodramatic). I can't help feeling that I should be there, with her, in the delivery room, holding her hand, trying to make her laugh (and probably failing). To see the beautiful face of her baby just moments after birth, to celebrate with her and her husband. Instead, all I can do is sit here & cry & feel sorry for myself. For the last 7 months or so, all I've been able to do is kick myself for moving back to Canada. I know, boo hoo. But I guess everyone deserves a little self-pity once in a while. Seems like, as an waiting adoptive parent, I indulge myself a little more with the self-pity than maybe I should.

Blech, and also ewwwww

2010-05-04T15:27:00.002-04:00

So, yesterday was my birthday. It was a great day - Andrew got me a beautiful Swarovski crystal cross with clear & pink crystals. It's just gorgeous! The folks at work took me out to lunch to our usual spot, the local Thai restaurant. Then Andrew & I went out to dinner with our "adoption" friends Werner & Cara. Then, when I got home, I discovered that I'd picked up my niece Evie's stomach virus when we went to visit her on Sunday. I've got to tell you, I haven't felt this crappy in a while. Nothing like losing your birthday dinner mere hours after eating it. So I've been home all day, drinking ginger ale & feeling sorry for myself. Regardless, I had a great birthday & a great birthday dinner & I wouldn't have changed anything (except the puking).

Mah new electronic baybee

2010-05-01T20:32:00.003-04:00

Well, the household has acquired a new baybee. An electronic baybee. A netbook! We've been wanting to get a new computer for a while now, ever since Computador Prime decided to take his own sweet time (read: 20 minutes) to boot up when you turned him on. Defragging, deleting unwanted files, deleting cookies didn't seem to make too much of a difference. I'm sure we just need to bring in the nerds, but the thing is 7 years old, so I'm not sure what can be done. Anyhoo, the netbook we wanted went on sale this weekend so we went ahead & purchased! It's going to be great to bring it with us to Ethiopia, for downloading pictures & videos, and emailing & such. And it's just SO DARN CUTE!

Other than grocery shopping, that was our fun for the day. Tomorrow we're hopefully going to meet up with my brother & sister-in-law & my niece so they can pay me tribute for my birthday (which is Monday, in case you want to know), but Evie's had a stomach bug today, so that might not happen. Either way, I plan to go to Sephora to pick up my birthday freebie! And maybe a nail polish.

New Doctor Who on tonight - am loving this new Doctor. I haven't seen too many of the old Doctor Who episodes, but he seems really "old school". It's great - and I love his new companion. The actress hails from Inverness, which is one of my favourite places. Speaking of which, I've been pining for the UK something fierce lately, I wonder what's up with that?

Well, enjoy your weekend, wherever you are!

Is it Friday yet?

2010-04-29T16:33:00.006-04:00

Man, it has been a long week. The Boss has been away (my actual boss, not Andrew) so the "mice" have been playing. Not sure why I care, but it really bugs me when people basically decide that it's okay to come in a hour late & leave the same time as usual. To me, that's screwing the company out of an hour's work. It wouldn't really bother me if it was just once in a while, but it's been EVERY DAY THIS WEEK. Add that to the countless hours of personal calls, and I get a little ticked off. Especially when she plays dumb & asks for help with things I've helped her with over & over & over again. I've even done training notes! Is it so hard to actually use the training notes? Apparently so, as she routinely makes the same mistake again & again.

Enough whinging - I am so looking forward to this weekend. We don't have much planned, that I am aware of. I'd like to go to Sephora, to pick up my "birthday gift" and some moisturizer for Andrew. Maybe some lunch out, or a movie (boy, I wish Iron Man 2 was out this weekend!). Next weekend is getting to be chock-full. My folks are coming down to celebrate my birthday (since they can't come this weekend), and we've just been invited to my aunt & uncle's 25th wedding anniversary BBQ, so we'll be making the 5 hr trek to attend that. Then it's Mother's Day on Sunday & the trek home. The weekend after that we're doing Multicultural Parenting training on the Saturday. The weekend after that is my high school's 75th reunion but I don't think I'm going, because the next weekend after THAT is my cousin's wedding. Phew, I'm tired just thinking about it!

There was one more referral today, so now we're down to #88. Cool!

Not long now!

2010-04-23T07:50:00.002-04:00

It seems like many things are coming up pretty quick: my birthday (May 3, in case you want to know), the birth of my BFF's baby (she's 35 weeks along!), summer, my cousin's wedding (can't wait to hang out with my cousins again!). The road to Wren also continues to move along - referrals are coming in, slowly moving us towards the head of the line - from #111 originally, I calculate that we are now at #90 or #89! If referrals continue as they have been lately, we should have our referral by my birthday next year! Of course, I've now jinxed myself, but what can you do? Any positive movement in an adoption is a good thing! One good thing about the bankruptcy is that the agency assigned every family a number based on their DTE (dossier to Ethiopia), so we're now able to see what number they are up to. It's a little thing, but I think it helps our sanity!

Not much else happening here, folks! Enjoy your weekend!

April showers bring.....

2010-04-19T07:46:00.002-04:00

Aggravation, that's what. We spent the weekend at my parent's place, which was nice (as usual). My parents took us out for dinner for Andrew's birthday - great food at the restaurant but crappy service. Sunday was a bridal shower for my youngest cousin, who's getting married at the end of May (on my dad's birthday, actually). It was being thrown by my mom, my aunt, the bride's aunt on her father's side & my cousin (the bride's sister). As usual, my mom was tasked with picking up most of the party items (plates, napkins, cutlery, tableclothes, etc). No problem there, as they all split the cost. What I take exception to is that no one helped with anything at the actual shower. To be fair, my aunt had a stroke a few years ago & is not able to help. My cousin & her aunt, though, were more than able to help & did very little. I ended up doing a lot of the set up & maintenance of the food table, as there was no one else to help my mom. Honestly, I can use the exercise, but that's not the point. If you're throwing a shower, you're throwing a shower, not chatting to everyone who walks in the door - that's not your job. The work itself doesn't bother me - I like being organized & it was actually fun working with my mom like that, but the point is - it wasn't my job. I was a guest at that shower & I got to see the bride open 2, maybe 3 gifts - not even my gift. That sucks. And I feel so bad for my mom, getting stuck with doing everything. Good thing this is the last shower she has to throw - no more weddings or first babies for my cousins. So to those who threw the shower & did nothing (with the exception of my aunt, obviously) - BOO! Shame on you.

In other news, my seedlings are going great guns! Most of them are up now, only some of the basil & some of the garlic are lagging behind. Now that we've taking the cover off I'm hoping they don't get eaten by certain pussy cats.

Who do you think you are?

2010-04-16T07:28:00.002-04:00

Not only is that one of Andrew's & my favourite TV shows lately, it was the inspiration for my birthday gift to him this year (happy birthday, by the way, Andrew!). I arranged for DNA testing for ancestry, which I though would be TOTALLY COOL for someone who is adopted and has very little information about his birth family. Luckily he agreed with me, I was getting a little nervous! It's not exactly cheap! Anyway, I'll be interested to see what the results are - all we know right now is that his birth parents supposedly come from Eastern Europe, possibly somewhere around the forner Yugoslavia. It's something I'd also be interested in doing myself, to see if my roots spread beyond the Netherlands & France. It's going to take 2-3 months to process the swabs, so I guess I'm just going to have to be patient! Happy birthday, my love, I truly hope this is the year you finally become a father!

Garden update

2010-04-15T13:19:00.002-04:00

We have broccoli sprouts! I only planted them on Sunday, so they are living up to their "early" name! No basil, tomato or garlic sprouts yet, but it's still early days. Now I just have to figure out where to put the seedling tray when we have people over tomorrow for Andrew's birthday.

It's been a while....

2010-04-12T07:49:00.002-04:00

I'm not such a good blogger lately, sorry about that! Since we last "spoke" I've had a ripper of a cold, so I haven't felt much like posting. Time to get back into the groove! We had a good Easter, we spent it with my folks down in my hometown, with pretty nice weather! Anytime that the April weather is above 10 degrees is a good time, but this weather was almost 25! Nice! While down home I helped my mom prepare for my cousin's bridal shower (which is this weekend), we had a great ham & scalloped potato dinner, and we visited a local cidery - gooooood cider. This past weekend we worked in the front garden, pulling out the mock orange which hasn't done much in the past 3 years except grow like a weed & not flower AT ALL. It was time for it to go, so we replaced it with a rhododendron - it will have fuschia flowers, so it will really look nice near the fence. I spent a good hour hammering in the garden border, so I'm a little sore today. I also planted some seedlings for the veggie garden - this year we'll have tomatoes, broccoli, basil, and hopefully garlic, as well as beets, beans & peas. Now if I can just get the kittehs to leave the seedling tray alone.....

The adoption is continuing to move along, we are now #94 from #111, there were 7 referrals in March, which is pretty darn good! Let's hope this pace continues, or even gets better!

Not much, thanks for asking

2010-03-31T16:25:00.002-04:00

Easter is coming and there have been many bunnies in the yard to prove it. They like to scavenge the discarded birdseed from the feeder, there were 2 of them there this morning. Judging from the poop on the shed of our backyard neighbours, the raccoon/s are back too. Luckily no one has eaten my crocuses this year, at least not yet. Someone had a nibble on one of my tulips but I can't say who it was for certain.

Last weekend was auspicious for 2 reasons - the first was Evie's first birthday party. She was such a cutie in her pleated pink dress! And she was soooo well behaved, even though you could tell she was exhausted. She was covered head to toe in icing, but most of that was her aunt's doing (not me, her other aunt). It was good to spend time with the family, even though we had to rush off to the other auspicious event - the Celebration of Hope, which celebrated the first 6 months in operation of the resurrected Imagine Adoption. It was a good time - good food, good speeches, good music, and lots of adopted cuties!

We're heading down to the homeland for Easter, and according to the weatherman it's going to be a ripper of a weekend - over 22 degrees for 3 days straight! Enjoy the holiday, folks! And Vicki - enjoy the caravan park!

The road is a pain in the ARSE

2010-03-23T07:38:00.002-04:00

Not the road to Wren, though that does have its challenges. With the current rate of referrals (or the complete lack thereof) it'll be years before we meet our daughter. And that's okay. Good things come to those who wait. I do not speak of a metaphorical road, I speak of the literal road. In the past 3 drives to work I have apparently become a bad driver magnet. I'm not saying I'm the best driver ever, I'm not that delusional. But seriously, I've had no less than 3 people drift into my lane, one of them was on a cellphone & would have hit me head-on had I not honked. Then another driver casually drifted into my lane this morning, going no more than 100km/hr (I was going 115km/hr) & kept coming until I honked my horn at him. And don't get me started about the 18-wheelers that change lanes right in front of me, going a lot slower than I'm going. Doesn't anyone check their blind spot anymore? I just don't see why people can't frakkin' pay attention when they're behind the wheel of a multi-ton vehicle. Last week 3 Canada geese took off from the ditch right beside my off-ramp right in front of me, and trust me, you don't want to hit one Canada goose, let alone 3 of them. Maybe this is a sign. Maybe I should stay in the slow lane.

Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes

2010-03-12T07:40:00.002-05:00

So, it looks like we're going to have to travel to Ethiopia twice, once we receive our referral (which is looking like it won't be for quite some time). Apparently, the federal courts in Ethiopia announced yesterday that adoptive parents will now have to travel to Addis Ababa to appear in person for their court date. While this means that we will get to meet our girl sooner rather than later, it's really going to put a sizeable dent in our pocketbook. Previously families only had to travel once, when the adoption was finalized & the visa to travel had been received. This goes into effect immediately for anyone who doesn't already have a court date. That would be us. We don't even have a referral yet. In addition, MOWA (the Ministry of Women's Affairs) have made a decision to not issue "letters of adoption" to relinquished children from some areas of Ethiopia. Unfortunately, of the 4 orphanages the agency deals with, 3 of them are in those regions. They will only issue letters for abandoned children. The hope is that this decision is temporary, because it has drastically reduced the number of referrals. I understand the logic behind the decision, as every effort must be made to ensure these children have been given up for the "right" reasons & that they haven't been taken from their parents under false pretenses. It still stings a little, though, knowing that our referral could now be years away, instead of just a year or so. Oh well, just another bump in the road to Wren.

Good times

2010-03-09T16:19:00.003-05:00

So, last weekend was our babysitting weekend. Because my brother & sister-in-law were part of her sister’s wedding (which was GORGEOUS, by the way – the bride & the reception venue, anyway, we didn’t see the actual wedding), we had our niece for Saturday night until Sunday afternoon. All in all, I’d say it was very successful. We started Saturday by assembling the crib – which was easier said than done. Most of the assembly went as it should, until we got to the last bracket holding the mattress base to the crib. We could not get the screw through the bottom of the bracket no matter what we tried. Finally, I had to get under the crib (like I was changing the oil in a car) and push against the bracket with all the strength in my thumb (which isn’t all that much) so we could get the screw in all the way. What realistically should have taken us 30 min took us 2 HOURS. There were angry eyes all around. Finally, it was ready for its trial run.

We picked up Evie around 5pm, with a few rushed instructions & the hand-over of many many bags (I’ve suggested they invest in a hockey bag for all her accoutrements). We were on the road more than 5 minutes when she was asleep. She slept until we got to our place, then she got her second wind & crawled around the living room for a while. She’s been teething, so we gave her the baby Motrin, then set to trying to put her down for the night. That was also easier said than done, she was so over-tired & over-stimulated that she had a good old cry session for about an hour. She finally gave up her fight & fell asleep at 8.15pm, after an hour & a half of rocking & bouncing & a poopy diaper change & a bottle. At one point I thought, “we’ve just wasted a lot of money to adopt one of these”. Then I pinched a nerve in my neck reaching into the crib to pat her on the back. Note to self – remove wheels from crib, they are not compatible with 2 people who are only a couple inches this side of 5 feet.

She had a great night’s sleep – 10 hours, though I did not (the light on the baby monitor kept me awake, as did the “state of constant readiness”). I was on a hair-trigger, waiting for the slightest whimper to rush to her aid. Turns out she’s a great sleeper, especially since the tooth she’s been cutting lately finally broke through this weekend. So we were all up bright & early, with another diaper change & another bottle. Andrew is a champion bottle-man, she loves men with beards, so she stared lovingly into his eyes the whole time – SO CUTE! An hour & a half of crawling & cruising later & it was time for cereal with bananas, which I let Andrew feed her to get the practice. It went as well as can be expected with a baby who likes to feed herself. Yes, some of it did end up in her hair. Then we wiped her down (tell me, is there a kid in the world that LIKES to have their face wiped, because I have not met one) and changed her out of her sleeper (and ANOTHER poopy diaper). Andrew managed to get her down for 2 30 minute naps between 6am & 12.30pm, when her parents arrived to pick her up. He got a lot of valuable practice, and it was beyond wonderful to see him practicing his daddy skills.

All told, it was a great weekend. Sunday was spent napping & watching the Oscars (which I rather enjoyed, I though the hosts did a great job). We both took Monday off & went to see Alice in Wonderland (which we really really liked), had lunch out & did some other chores. And the weather was great, which does good things to your emotional state. Now, if referrals would just pick up (a lot), like would be GRAND.

1 year DTE

2010-03-03T13:30:00.001-05:00

Check out that ticker!

A lot can happen in a year. A lot has happened since the day our dossier arrived in Ethiopia, so I thought I would put it all down here, so as not to forget.

March 3, 2009 – Our dossier arrives in Ethiopia. What a great day that was, and for someone whose lucky number is 3, the date was perfect – 3/3/09.

April 1, 2009 – My beautiful niece, Evamarie, is born. She’s turning out to have as dynamic a personality as her parents, which is a great thing, trust me. She’s going to have a GREAT sense of humour (it’s genetic, don’t you know?). It’s also Andrew’s birthday month.

May 2009 – My birthday month, the month that Andrew & I went back to the UK for the first time since we met there in 1992, and the month that my dad had the operation to remove part of his right kidney (and the cancerous tumour it contained).

June 2009 – A pretty quiet month, which was good considering what happened in July. I think this was the month we were given a crib & pack n play by our friends (their kids had outgrown them).

July 2009 – On the 13th we received the phone call that stopped our hearts for a second. The adoption agency was in bankruptcy. For a few days it was stunned silence and tears. Then, as the news reports started to come in, white hot anger. That weekend, we attended a meeting with what turned out to be the FIA (Families of Imagine Adoption) – families with hope. Andrew & I made our national debut on CBC – The Journal. At the end of the month we attending the creditors meeting with the bankruptcy trustee.

August 2009 – I don’t recall much happening in August, which I guess is a good thing. Just worrying about if we would ever be a family.

September 2009 – We had a much needed long weekend away with my parents in Eastern Ontario. On the 21st, the families & creditors affected by the bankruptcy voted overwhelmingly to revive the agency. Of 270 families, 248 voted yes! On the 29th, the proposal was approved by the courts.

October 2009 – On the 1st, the agency was officially back up & running. At the end of the month we celebrated our 15th wedding anniversary in Niagara Falls. I’m also pretty sure that it was this month that I found out that my best friend ever was pregnant, after years of hoping & trying. I could not be happier for her, though I’m also INSANELY JEALOUS.

November 2009 – Nothing much happened, that I recall.

December 2009 – Our first Christmas with a baby in the house, though it was our niece – not our baby. How wonderful to experience Christmas through a child’s eyes. Next year will be even better, when she’s old enough to know what’s going on.

January 2010 – We welcomed the new year with friends (2 of our fellow adopting couples) & a lot of Wii Sports Resort. Other than that, it was a pretty quiet month.

February 2010 – Not much happened personally, but Canada RULED THE WORLD in the Olympics! Yay Canada, I knew you could do it! Now, if I never hear that I Believe song again, I will NOT be disappointed.

March 2010 – Well, here we are again. March 3. It’s a gorgeous sunny day, and I’m one year closer to meeting my daughter. We’re going out for dinner tonight to celebrate, and then we’re going to Babies R Us to pick up a crib sheet in preparation for Evie babysitting duties this weekend. Life is pretty sweet!

Kitchen Makeover

2010-03-01T12:54:00.004-05:00

Not really. We did go to Ikea yesterday (we got there right when they opened at 10am, and the crowds got steadily worse the longer we were there - the cafeteria was crazy-town) and get some new canisters (glass cylinder-shaped with stainless steel lids) to replace the "old" cow canisters. Nothing wrong with the cows, they just take up half the available bench-space. So we cleaned all the dust & detritus off the counter (amazing what builds up when you're too lazy to clean it), arranged all the single recipes in a desk organizer, and it's like we have a new kitchen! At least, on the left hand side of the kitchen. The right side could definitely use some work. That's where everything goes when we don't have room in the cupboard.

We also bought a dresser for the baby's room at Ikea - it's really nice. I had originally wanted to get a low, pine dresser so we could use it as a change-table too, but when we say this dresser we fell love (well, Andrew did, which is unusual for him!). It's the Aspelund 3 drawer dresser, in case you're interested (which I know you are). The only thing that I would change about it would be for it to be wood-grain instead of white, so it would go with the rest of the furniture. That said, we can always paint the crib white (which is looking more attractive the more I think about it). The bookcase is already a very light wood, so if the crib is white it will tie everything together. I can't wait to get the couch out of there so we can start putting everything together!!!! Evie, my niece, is staying the night on Saturday, so maybe we should put the crib together now (we can always take it apart again) as I hear she doesn't like to sleep in a playpen. Picky girl. I'm actually a bit nervous about taking care of her ourselves, but I'm looking forward to the practice too!

There was an article over the weekend in the Kitchener Record, about That Nasty Blonde Lady who took our money & spent it on herself. Check it out - even after all these months it still makes my blood boil -http://news.therecord.com/News/Local/article/677204. One of these days I'm gonna need to learn how to include links.

Today's fish is trout a la creme

2010-02-16T07:37:00.003-05:00

I hope you like the new "fish" I have added especially for my followers. Since my blog is not all that interesting right now, I thought you'd appreciate the diversion. By the way, if you click your mouse in the fishbowl you will feed the little fishies. As for the title of this post, it comes from one of my favourite British sci-fi comedies, can anyone guess which one?

Had a great weekend, for the most part. Spent Saturday grocery shopping in preparation for the week ahead (and Valentine's Day dinner in particular), then went out that night to a fundraiser for a cousin of our friends that's going to work in a medical clinic in Ethiopia for a few weeks. We raised enough money to purchase a lot of supplies for the clinic, perhaps even a brand new microscope to replace the ancient one they are currently using. It was a really good night! Sunday was a lazy day at home, with a nice dinner (beef tenderloin for me, tuna steak for Andrew). I got Andrew a Superman T-shirt (he loved Superman as a kid) and I got a card. Sigh. Well, at least I got flowers last year. Monday was Family Day, so we celebrated by going to visit my brother & his family. Evie continues to get cuter every day! We had Bill help us install the baby car seat in our van, as we are babysitting Evie overnight in early March, after Jenn's sister's wedding. I can't wait, though I'm really nervous. I guess I'd better start baby-proofing our house! I'm thinking right now that maybe we should put up a baby-gate to block the front room from the kitchen so we can contain her, away from the litter box & the stairs. Just thinking out loud. Sounds like a trip to Babies R Us is in order.

I'm loving watching the Olympics now, and am so proud of how Canada is doing so far! I also LOVED the opening ceremony, especially the poet & kd lang! I love that song (Hallelujah), it makes me cry every time I hear it. What a great time to be Canadian. Now, if we can only get the Zamboni at the speed skating venue to work properly.........

Boo hoo hoo

2010-02-04T07:41:00.002-05:00

I really shouldn't complain about having no life - it's my own damn fault I'm never motivated to do much of anything. And I do have a life - it's just not exciting blog fodder. It's not easy updating a blog when nothing much of note happens! But that can be a good thing - it can mean that nothing bad is happening!

Having said all that, life continues. It's winter, so a fair bit of cocooning is going on (for those not familiar with cocooning, that's what happens in the winter when it's cold/snowy & people just keep to themselves & stay indoors). Can't wait for spring when the neighbourhood starts to come out of their shell, so to speak! As soon as it gets warm Andrew & I are out in the front garden, weeding out the weeds, pulling up the dead stuff from the year before, re-planting anything that the wildlife unearthed. I'm thinking of moving the irises to the backyard, on the edge of the patio with the peonies & the rose-bush & the blueberry bush (if it survived this winter). We'll also move the michaelmas daisy to a different part of the garden (it's at the front now, and seeing as it's 3 feet tall it's kind of throwing off the look of the garden. I'm also trying to decide which veggies to grow this year. Carrots for sure, they worked out really well, as did the onions. Perhaps some tomatoes & peppers, and maybe basil again - we did get some lovely pesto out of the last crop. Not cauliflower or broccoli or brussels sprouts - not that it wasn't fun to watch Basil the mouse de-nude the tender plants of their leaves - I'd just like to be able to eat some of what I grow! And he ate the pea sprouts before they were barely out of the ground!

Well, that's about all from here. I'd love to be able to go on a quick vacation somewhere, sometime soon-ish, but we really need to pay down the credit cards first. Sigh......

This weekend on I Have No Life....

2010-01-29T07:31:00.002-05:00

We're meeting up with the Milton Adoption Group (2 other Milton couples that are adopting from Ethiopia through the same agency) and attending a seminar on adoption at one of the nearby universities. After that we're going out for lunch (Mongolian Grill? I hear it's good but I've never been). It will be good to see them again, we haven't seen them since our New Year's Eve "party". After that Andrew & I will be premiering "Jerk Off 2010". Let me explain. We're almost out of the Jamaican jerk paste we normally use & couldn't find the same brand at the grocery store, so we bought the brand they did have. We've going to cut a pork tenderloin in half, marinate each side in a different jerk paste, then compare to see if the new paste is up to our exacting standards. It was my idea to call it Jerk Off, cuz I'm clever like that.

In other news, I do believe we've found a home for the sofa bed that currently resides in the baby's room, so once that is out of the way we will be able to start painting & putting the room together. I can't wait!

That's all from here - have a great weekend, everybody!

My baby

2010-01-27T07:59:00.004-05:00

Don't lose my number!

2010-01-16T08:16:00.002-05:00

The agency released our "number" today. For those not in the know (I'm guessing that's all of you), this is where we fall on the List, the list of families waiting for the referral of a single child (as opposed to a sibling group). So, without further delay, we are are number 111! This is a lot better than we thought - since there are 270 or so families waiting for children (not sure how many are waiting for siblings) I thought we'd be somewhere around #200, but then I had a dream on Wednesday night that we were #86, so this falls nicely between the 2 numbers. And since we received our number there have been 3 referrals, so we are really at #108 now. 111 is our "official" number, though. And what is cool is that 1/11 was the birthday of one of my grandmas, so it's a special number! It's been a good week in the Imagine Adoption world.

Meh.

2010-01-11T15:04:00.004-05:00

In the Well Duh files, there continues to be not much happening around here, which kind of suits me down to the ground, as they say. In the past week or so we have: become addicted to Wii Frisbee Golf (more Andrew than me) & Swordplay (more me than Andrew), seen the movie Avatar (soooo good, see it in the theatre if you can, the 3D effects made my dizzy & nauseous at first, but then I was okay), and worked. That’s pretty much it. Exciting times, n’est pas? In the actual good times column, there were 4 families with our agency that got referrals in December, and another 4 families have received referrals so far in January. How cool is that? There were approx 270 families waiting for referrals when the agency restructured, so I guess that’s now down to 262! Not sure where we are in that list, I’m guessing we’re between 180th and 200th. In other words, it’ll still be awhile before we receive our referral. That’s okay – we can use that time to reduce our debts & get the house & nursery ready for her arrival. We went ahead & bought the birdcage & bird decal for her room, now we just need to move the sofabed out of the room, paint it, put up the decal, set up the crib & buy a dresser for that room (it will serve as a dresser/change-table – it’s a small room). Still trying to decide if I want to paint the crib. Some days I’m all gung-ho about doing it, other times I can’t be bothered. Don’t get me wrong, there’s nothing wrong with the finish right now – I just REALLY like the look of painted cribs. If I did go ahead with that, I’d paint it a slightly darker shade of green than the walls. I found the PERFECT crib bedding set online (Kidsline Birdsong - get it - Wren? Bird? I know, I don't give you enough credit) but wouldn’t you know it – it’s discontinued (at least, I can’t find anyone who still sells it). If I don’t end up finding that I’ll go with a purple set of some sort.

On another note, my mother in law is turning 70 soon. Does anyone know if there is a special gift or type of gift you give for the 70th birthday? Keep in mind we’re in Canada & she’s in remote Australia, so it can’t be anything too big or too expensive.

Well, that’s really all from here. No news yet from Alamo, except to say that they responded to Andrew’s email & didn’t answer a single question that he had asked. Way to actually read the email, Alamo. My poor opinion of you has improved NOT AT ALL. Alamo consists entirely of FAIL.

Have a great week everybody!

Not much

2010-01-05T07:51:00.002-05:00

Hope everyone out there had a great New Year's, we spent it quietly, with our adoption friends & Wii Sports Resort. I tell you, that game throws in some pretty awesome spectators - in our 2 hours of play we spotted Star Trek's Mr Spock, Batman (actually, one table tennis match was graced by the presence of 2 Batmen), Darth Vader, Catwoman, a cyclops & a green monster with very pointy canines. If they can do Mii's like that, why can't I get my Mii to look anything like me? Andrew's looks so much like him it's spooky. On the Sunday we visited with my brother & his family & Andrew gave Evie her bottle for the first time. Well, she holds it herself now, but he held her & made sure the bottle was tipped towards her mouth. They were both wearing navy blue, they looked so cute together! She's so smiley & giggly, so squeezeable! What a sweetheart - I hope our girl is the same. Not news from Alamo yet - slackers. I have other names too, but none are suitable for this blog. Well, that's it for now. I'll be back when I have something new to say (actually, that might be a while!)

ALAMO SUCKS, consider yourself warned.

2009-12-29T10:14:00.001-05:00

To start off, I would encourage anyone who reads this blog (all 3 of you!) not to rent a car through Alamo, at least in the UK. I’m about to explain why, but suffice it to say, we are getting harassed & threatened by them for NO REASON except their incompetence. Here’s a brief description of what’s been happening since we rented the car in the UK in May of this year.

- Picked up the car from Heathrow on May 28. We had originally booked (and PAID FOR) a basic car while still in Canada. Since we were going to drop the car at Gatwick, we paid a little extra for this privilege. When we picked up the car we upgraded to the next level up & also requested & paid for a GPS (and also paid for the upgrade).
- Returned the car to Gatwick on June 2 & settled the account. We thought this would be the end of it. How wrong we were.
- During the next 6 months our credit card was credited & debited 6 times for various reasons (insurance, damage waiver, theft waiver, some other mysterious charges). They also sent us an invoice for GBP 372.51, for a car rental we had already paid for. We were confused but not too worried at that point. Andrew called & email Alamo to try to sort it out. He got a confusing, nonsensical response.
- On Dec 23 we received another invoice for GBP 372.51, this one stating it was the FINAL NOTICE!!!!, and failure to pay this account within 7 days (mind you, the invoice was dated Dec 7) would result in legal action & damage to our credit rating. FOR AN ACCOUNT THAT WE HAD PAID FOR 7 months earlier. It also stated that we had been blacklisted & would no longer be able to rent from Alamo anywhere in the world. No problems there, we won’t ever rent from them ever, ever, ever again. Seriously.

So, let’s review – we rented a car, we paid for the rental car, we were debited (4 times) & credited (twice), and now we apparently owe GBP 372.51 for a rental we’ve ALREADY PAID FOR, all because of the incompetence of Alamo. And we’re being threatened with LEGAL ACTION for an account we settled in good faith 7 MONTHS AGO. We’ve copied our travel agent on the correspondence & recommended that they not use Alamo for their other clients. Alamo are treating us as if we rented the car & deliberately did not pay for this privilege, when the error is entirely their own. If this is how they treat their customers, I wonder how they are still in business. In this day & age, this kind of customer service is DISGUSTING. In this recession, you’d think businesses would be striving to keep customers happy, to encourage repeat business. Alamo clearly thinks they are above this way of thinking. Shame on you Alamo, shame on you.

Please pass this story on to anyone you think might benefit from it, I wouldn't want anyone else to get screwed by these people. I want to get the word out there - DO NOT RENT FROM ALAMO!

Happy Holidays

2009-12-23T12:39:00.001-05:00

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Back on track!

2009-12-22T07:41:00.001-05:00

Well, it's been a busy week for the agency this week. Since my last post they've had their license renewed by the Ministry (of Magic.....just kidding), something renewed on the Ethiopian side too (not sure what, but it was good), and they've started issuing REFERRALS! Obviously we've got quite a wait in front of us, but to hear that some families are already getting referrals makes me insanely happy. Four families just got the BEST. CHRISTMAS. PRESENT. EVER!

Speaking of best Christmas present ever, I cannot wait to give Andrew his present. I bought it about 3 months ago & wrapped it & had him put it in the basement, and I've been dying to give it to him ever since. It's something that he's been looking at, but he has no idea what the gift is. Only 3 more days! We got the Christmas dinner groceries on Saturday, we wrapped all the presents on Sunday so all that's left to do now to prepare for Christmas is to give our house a clean. Because Christmas is at our place again this year we get to chose the dinner, so we're making Andrew's mum's signature roasted leg of pork, with crackling. I LOVE crackling. And we're making spiced peaches (peaches done in a spiced vinegar) too, which is my FAVOURITE part of the pork dinner. Can't wait, but not looking forward to the cleanup. No sir.

I'm not sure if I'll be back on line this week, but if not, Merry Christmas everyone (all 2 or 3 of you)! May 2010 bring you everything you wish for & more.

It came from beyond the breadbox...

2009-12-08T12:55:00.001-05:00

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100th post! Weeee!

2009-12-08T12:54:00.003-05:00

Wow, this is my hundredth post! Who knew I had it in me? Not me, that's fer sure.

On a less self-congratulatory note, I'm constantly thinking of how to decorate Wren's room, and yet afraid to start anything unless the adoption goes south again. I've decided on a bird theme for obvious reasons, and have found some awesome wall decals, courtesy of one of the blogs I read (www.theblessing.ca). A division of her brother's company is producing these decals & I've fallen in love with one of them. The website is www.peelmonkey.com, and the decal is of birds flying out of a bird cage. Here's a photo. I'm thinking of the white & purple decal against a soft apple green background. I always wanted to do that colour scheme anyway.

Now I just need to decide if I want to paint the crib. It'll be a big job but I've got nothing but time.

99 red balloons

2009-11-30T17:03:00.003-05:00

99 posts, actually. That's pretty cool, who knew I had it in me. Good thing it's been an eventful year, otherwise you'd likely be reading the web equivalent of crickets (cheep cheep cheep).

Speaking of this eventful year, I just got the email from Imagine saying that they've re-signed 246 families to the agency (with a couple more pending). I believe they said they needed 200 families in order to be able to continue operating, so that is GOOD NEWS indeed. Of course they have not come out & said without a shadow of a doubt that happy days are here again, but they have said that, "today is a big day for the new Imagine Adoption!" (punctuation theirs). The next step is that, "the board will be conducting an analysis to provide to (the bankruptcy trustee) to compare to the initial proposal", which they expect to occur by Friday so they can provide us with a more detailed communication next week. I'm hoping this email is just cautiously worded, and that we're in the clear now. What do my readers think (all 3 of you)? Does that sound positive to you? Will I ever be able to stop obsessively analysing everything from the agency? Please tell me this will all work out, I need this to work out. My nerves are SHOT.

And while I'm talking about adoption, can I just say that I hope that document that Rana & Yvan are waiting for is translated immediately so they can go get their beautiful boy? Just wanted to put those vibes out there. And while I'm talking about babies, I'd like to congratulate my BFF Vicki, she's officially 13 weeks along with her surprise first pregnancy. Oh how I wish I was able to spend the next 27 weeks with her. And away from the snow, not that we have any yet. I'd be happy if we didn't get any. Too messy.

Love to all!

Evie meets Santa

2009-11-29T09:05:00.002-05:00

Wow, is she starting to look like a little girl or what?

Hey, did you happen to see the most cutest baby in the world?

2009-11-26T07:22:00.002-05:00

My sister-in-law decided to see how Evie looked in her glasses. The answer - cute as a button!

Tenterhooks

2009-11-23T07:36:00.002-05:00

So, it's come to this. November 30. That's the day we'll find out if enough people have paid their $2000.00 to allow the agency to re-start for reals. It would be a real shame for the agency to not be able to move forward with the remaining Ethiopian adoptions after all the hard work that everyone, but especially the steering committee, did. I go back & forth being optimistic & pessimistic and it's doing a number on my nerves. With all the enthusiasm I saw after Imagine came out of bankruptcy, I thought we'd see the money come in a lot quicker, that we'd be able to move forward before the Nov 30 deadline. I know we still have a week to go, but the wait is excruciating! Fingers crossed that this all works out.

In less life changing news, we went to see New Moon this weekend. It wasn't the best movie I've ever seen, but it wasn't the worst movie either. It really dragged in places, but I thought the acting was pretty darn good, even if some of it was annoying. I really enjoyed the books, so it's kind of neat to see it visually, instead of just in my head. Pretty cool. I think it will get better with repeated watchings (the first movie did, for me at least), though I won't go to see it at the theatre again. After we saw the movie we went to go to the BBQ store near my work to scope out Christmas gifts for my dad but alas they were closed (at 3pm - who closes at 3pm near Christmas? I mean, I know not a lot of people BBQ in the winter, but still). So we went to Ikea instead! We got some stocking stuffers and finally got drawer inserts for the Expedit bookcase in the baby's room. I can't wait to start working on the baby's room. Come on, good news!

Heh

2009-11-12T07:58:00.001-05:00

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Lest we forget

2009-11-11T07:31:00.002-05:00

Not much to say today, except thank you to those who have fought & given their lives to preserve our freedom & way of life, in the most recent wars and all the wars that have been fought in the last century or so. I can't imagine how it must have felt, going off to war, fighting in the trenches of World War 1, amongst horrying conditions, more likely to die from disease than from shrapnel or an enemy bullet. Or going off to war in World War 2, technologically more advanced but just as deadly, with the possibility of ending up in a prison camp, especially if you fought in the Pacific. I feel so blessed and thankful that in my lifetime, I have a choice to join the fight if I wish, and that my husband has the same choice. I cannot fathom having to say goodbye to him, knowing that he may never come home. My extended family has already lost someone to the Afghanistan conflict, just before Thanksgiving 2006. I'd rather we didn't lose any more.

It's been a while

2009-11-09T07:51:00.002-05:00

Sorry about that, not much to say really. Had a great anniversary trip in Niagara Falls - stayed at the Hilton, walked around the casino the first afternoon, had a nice dinner, the next day we did a little shopping at the Canadian outlets, then went & toured some of the nearby wineries (bought some great wines), then had Brazilian churrasco at the restaurant in the Hilton (we ate ourselves stupid), then on the Monday we went shopping in NY. We went to Walden Galleria & some of the outlets, got some Christmas gifts & gifts for ourselves (mostly clothes). All in all, a nice long weekend. Then this past Friday we headed to my hometown to see the dentist (he's been my dentist for over 30 years, hopefully he doesn't retire any time soon!) and hang out at my parents' place (unfortunately they weren't there - they were doing their own cross-border shopping in Michigan). We rented Monsters vs Aliens (very cute) and ate the local pizza (awesome - has shredded ham instead of just chunks of ham like the pizza chains do - soooooo yummy). Then it was back home for 5 pin bowling with the adoption crew & Mexican food afterwards. Then yesterday my brother & his wife came to our place to go through some books & stuff they had stored at our place. Unfortunately they did not bring my niece - she spent the night with her grandma (Jenn's mom) so they were going to go there after our place. I'll probably see her next weekend as my parents will be at our place.

Happy Anniversary

2009-10-29T07:52:00.003-04:00

Today is Andrew's & my 15th wedding anniversary! We've been through a lot together, a whole lot, and even though he doesn't read this blog (that I am aware of), I want to thank him for putting up with me for 15 years (well, 17 really, but 15 married years). We've been able to weather all of the storms together, as a team, and I think it helps that we are best friends and soul mates. I have always believed we were destined to be together - how else could a Canadian girl end up married to an Australian guy after meeting & spending 2 days together in London (UK)? It has to be fate. Anyhow, I thank God for him every day, and I hope we have many, many more years together. Thank you, my friend, for everything you do for me, for your support (emotional & otherwise). I hope with all my heart that we will be a family soon so we can share our love with our daughter.

It should be me

2009-10-26T12:46:00.002-04:00

Our niece's christening was yesterday. It was a beautiful day, bright & sunny after a dreadfully gloomy day on Saturday. She was one of 5 babies being baptised that day, and she was the only one that didn't cry at all. She was just a little angel, which is fitting, I suppose! Sitting in the pew, though, for those 2 hours, all I could think was, this should be me, or more accurately, us. I'm almost 4 years older than my brother, it should be my child being baptised, everyone should be happy for me, for Andrew, for Wren, for us. Selfish. I know it. Most of the time I'm on top of the mourning for what hasn't happened yet, but yesterday it was front & centre. There were several times during the (long) service where I was almost in tears. I don't begrudge my brother his family (especially our sweet angel Evie) but I can't help but be insanely jealous. All this uncertainty with the adoption doesn't help either. At this rate I'll be an auntie again before I get Wren home. I know it's my own fault that we don't have any kids, but that doesn't make it hurt any less. Sigh.

Achoo!

2009-10-23T07:46:00.002-04:00

So, my work laptop got a virus last night, just before I left for the day. Awesome! Now it's convalescing in the IT department. I felt just awful, like I'd been looking at nasty internet things, but I really wasn't! Honest! I was just surfing the same sites I've been surfing every day for years, but this time "gofugyourself" gave me a bit more than laughs about celebrities who can't dress themselves. I have to tell you, my guilt factor here is ENORMOUS! I feel like this is going to go on my permanent record. I can't wait to get my own laptop back, this loaner is slow & I don't have my personal files so I can't archive any of my emails. Boo! This sucks!

I'm still here

2009-10-22T13:13:00.002-04:00

It's been an up & down week this week. I've been struggling a little, emotionally, after the death of my friend. That feels a little fraudulent to say that, because I lost touch with her about 20 years ago, but I can't help think how devastated her husband and daughter & family are, how awful her passing must have been for them. Her mom was a teacher in my elementary school, so it was good to be able to see her at the wake & be able to give her my condolences in person. Once I told her my (maiden) name she remembered who I was, and I think she couldn't believe that I had actually come to the wake after so much time. It was so nice to see her again, but I can' help wishing that she didn't have to endure the devastation of losing a child, especially after she had beat the cancer the first time. I kind of wondered if I should go to the wake after so much time had passed, but I'm glad I did. She was a part of my life, even if that part was a long time ago.
Along with the wake, the weekend was pretty busy. We got one of the cars serviced, spoke with the lady at the bank to make sure we had the money available for the additional payments for the adoption (that was Saturday), then on Sunday we cleaned up the gardens to get them ready for winter. We harvested heaps of onions, carrots & a huge head of garlic. We also have some brussels sprouts that might still be harvestable (right now they are the size of large peas). It was a lot of work & pain (I ended up with a rose thorn in my toe & a cut on my finger from a nasty blade of grass - I can just picture the Discovery channel special - WHEN GRASS ATTACKS!) but it was worth it, the garden looks much better. This coming weekend is Evie's christening.

I must admit I do this ALL. THE. TIME.

2009-10-20T17:07:00.001-04:00

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Losing touch

2009-10-16T08:10:00.003-04:00

Moving around as much as I have since high school (and being an exchange student during grade 12), I've lost touch with most of my friends from childhood. I found out today that one of my dear friends from childhood, from as far back as kindergarten times, has passed away from cancer. At 37 years old. To say that this is sad is a given. What a loss - I can't even begin to process it yet. Whatever happens in my life, I can never forget that I have it good, great even. At least I have a chance to live my life.

I'll be attending her memorial tomorrow.

Rest in peace, Tracy.

ETA: It was cancer. It started as breast cancer 5 years ago, which was agressively treated & beaten into submission. Then it returned, in different parts of her body, but she was only able to have one round of chemo before it took her from her husband & 7-year old daughter. How indescribably horrible, to have to leave your child behind. I cannot even begon to fathom how that must feel, my heart goes out to anyone in that situation. It's certainly one I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy.

Peaceful easy feeling

2009-10-13T07:38:00.002-04:00

It was a quiet, peaceful Thanksgiving. We arrived at my parents' house around noon on Saturday, and my brother & his family arrive around 3.30pm. We had a big spaghetti dinner that night, with one of my mom's best friends in attendance. This lady has done so many wonderful things for my family, including taking my mom to therapy when she had her knee replaced last year, and sitting with my mom for the countless hours that my dad was in surgery to remove part of his kidney. She is such a special lady, peace & love just radiate off her. Her & my dad also have a good relationship - she's always giving him a hard time about something, but in a joking way. She's becoming a very special part of our family.

My niece is a little over 6 months old now, and she is such an angel! She is such a happy baby, especially in the morning when she wakes up. It was so great to be able to spend the whole weekend with her, from the time she woke up - with a smile for everyone - to the time she went to bed. She just charms everyone she meets. She had a huge smile for me every time I saw her. It makes me want this adoption to go much, much quicker! I imagine Evie will be about 2 when Wren comes home. I can just picture her asking for her cousin, "where's Wen?", because of course she's have trouble with her "r"s. Man, I'm getting ahead of myself, there's a long way to go to get to that point!

Anyhoo, it was a great long weekend, very restorative to my soul.

I imagine this is how I'll feel soon

2009-10-08T17:07:00.001-04:00

see more Lolcats and funny pictures

My Secret

2009-10-07T11:44:00.001-04:00

I must confess something. I understand that I may be mocked for this confession, but I feel this is worth the relief of getting it off my chest. I love the Jonas Brothers. There – I said it. I know that I’m 15 years older than the oldest Jonas (Kevin), but I don’t care. It’s not a romantic kind of love, though, that would be illegal, and also not all that realistic. No, I just think they are really cool, and I love their TV show (named, of course, Jonas). When I was growing up (like 8 years old or so), I was totally in love with Davy Jones of the Monkees. That was my absolute favourite TV show at the time (it still is one of my favourites) and I would tell anyone who would ask that I loved Davy Jones & that I was going to marry him. Never mind that it was the late 70’s – early 80’s and that it was at least the second “wave” of the Monkees (the series originally aired in the 60’s).

But anyway, back to Jonas. Jonas (the TV show) is a lot like the Monkees – it’s got cute young men, slap-stick, visual comedy, music, what’s not to like? It’s one of my favourite shows now (guess I’m a sucker for a pretty face that’s also funny). And these are just genuinely nice guys – two of them (Joe & Nick) are in the GTA filming Camp Rock 2 (no, I haven’t seen Camp Rock 1, well, I haven’t see ALL of it) and they ran the Run for a Cure last weekend. How cool is that? With all the questionable role models out there right now, I would have absolutely no problem with my daughter “crushing” on these guys.

So there we go, my secret is out. But seriously, watch Jonas – it’s good for a laugh, and there ain’t nothing wrong with that.

A fairly boring weekend

2009-10-06T07:52:00.002-04:00

Not sure why I waited til Tuesday to blog about this, it's not like it's going to get any more interesting with time. Anyhoo, this weekend featured painting, napping & a deep-fried mars bar, but not necessarily in that order. Saturday started bright & early at 6am, thanks to Pippin & her insatiable hunger (darn cat). We started the day with the breakfast of champions - toasted english muffins with sliced green olives & old cheddar melted over the top. Mmmmmm. Then the flooring was delivered (it has to aclimitise to our house before it's installed). Then we went to the dump to get rid of the old carpet, to Cobs in Oakville for chocolate croissants & a jalapeno cheese twist (I won't put my system through that again). Then we went for fish & chips (well, since I don't eat fish it was chicken nuggets & chips), and a deep fried mars bar, which we shared. They are just too rich to eat a whole one by yourself. Then we went to Home Depot for trim paint for the quarter-round. Sunday mostly consisted of painting the quarter-round & a 3 hour nap in front of the Nascar race. And we watched the Battle of the Blades, which was pretty cool.
See, I told you it was boring!