4 is the loneliest number....

I'll start off with a hearty HELLO! to everyone (all 2 of you) that missed my blog. Sure, I'm posting today, but I can't promise that I'll keep posting regularly so I hope you "enjoy" this post. It's likely to be kinda sour, though, so have some sugar, or syrup, or a soft drink or something beforehand.

So, here we are. We've been waiting 4 years (officially) for a referral, and no end in sight to the wait. I will admit, I am more bummed out about this adoption at the moment than I have been at any point in the past 4 years, including the bankuptcy. I don't know if it's been the upcoming 4 year "anniversary" looming ahead (& now behind) that's been bothering me, or the fact that I've been married 18 years & am still not a mom, but it's been weighing heavily on me. We recently had a baby shower at work for 2 girls who are due within a month of each other. The shower itself was okay, but going into a kids store to buy gifts for the babies was almost overwhelming. I had to hide myself in the baby girl section to get ahold of myself, because God forbid you show emotion in public. I'm sure the kind sales-ladies would have understood, but still.... That's never happened to me in the last 4 years, I've always believed, in the back of my mind, that I'd be a mom, but now, I just don't know. Andrew is still optimistic, he still believes, and he tries to cheer me up, but nothing seems to work. I emailed the agency a couple of weeks ago, to see if they could give me a grain of hope, something that I could hold on to, knowing that they likely couldn't tell me anything. I mean, we changed our gender request to include boy or girl, so I had hoped that would have increased our chances (which it has, don't get me wrong). The answer I got from the agency, while cautiously optimistic, didn't improve my mood at all. Basically, their response was "we cannot guarantee when a referral may occur, but according to the statistics we sent out in the last update, we believe you are in very good standing to receive a referral by the end of this year". Apparently we are number 6 on their "amalgamated list", which doesn't really tell me anything. I asked them if that meant we were #6 on the list of people waiting for a boy or girl up to 18 months at placement, or if were #6 overall on the list of families (approx 60) still waiting. I never got an answer. What does that mean? We were #4 or 5 on a list of families waiting for a girl up to 18 months at placement, have we put ourselves further down the list by changing our request? I just don't know what to think. I had a dream the other night that we had a baby (it was unsure if we had adopted or had been able to have one the old-fashioned way). When I woke up, I thought, "that was cruel & unfair". A year ago I would have thought, "it's a sign!!!". Guess that's a pretty good example of my state of mind. I just can't get my hopes up anymore. I'm so tired of putting my life on hold for something that might happen.

In other news, the kitchen improvements continue. Since early December we have replaced our bottom of the line dishwasher with a shiny stainless steel dishwasher, and have done the same with our fridge. This new fridge is much bigger than the old one, which is SO NICE, and has the freezer on the bottom (fancy, I know). One weird thing about it, though, is that the front of the fridge is not magnetic (which I would think that stainless steel would be). Sure, it looks great with no magnets on it, but now where am I going to put my collection of magnets? Right now they are on the dishwasher, but I don't like that as a long-term solution. Just this past weekend we finally replaced the light fixture in the kitchen (which was a bare bulb after someone - Andrew - broke the glass globe that covered the bulb). The new fixture is brushed nickel & is super-pretty, and was chosen & installed yesterday by Andrew. Go Handy Andy!

Well, that about brings you up to date. Perhaps I'll be back soon, when I'm in a better frame of mind. Until then, don't worry about me, I'm getting by.

You Like Me! You Really Like Me!

The lovely & talented CinnamonOpus (one of my geek-tastic soul sisters!) has nominated me for the Liebster Award! I am VERY honoured to be nominated, especially since I have not posted anything on my blog in many a month (soooo laaaaaazzzyyy). According to my friend Cinn, this award is a way for bloggers (even very occasional ones) about other, small blogs that they have discovered & enjoyed. My blog, she sure fits the “small” description!

Anyhoo, along with this nomination come some responsibilities (and a sash? Maybe? Miss Liebster 2.0 2012 should have a sash, am I right?), and some questions to be answered. First, I must share 11 facts about myself:

1. My favourite number is 3. Yup, it’s true.
2. I am a big Doctor Who fan (I have a small squishy TARDIS on my desk at work that makes TARDIS-y sounds), but mostly of the “new” Doctor who, starting with the 9th doctor. I find the ability to time travel very attractive in a man.
3. I am also a big fan of the movie Nacho Libre. Yes, I realize this may set me up for some ridicule, but I don’t care! It’s a sweet, hilarious movie that’s fun for the whole family.
4. I was an exchange student during my grade 12 high school year. I spent 10.5 months in Minas Gerais state in Brazil. I LOVED it there, especially once I learned the language & made some friends. I dream about getting back there one day – the food is TO DIE FOR. Mmmmmm, churrasco…..
5. I was once in a band. No, really! It was when I was in Brazil. A guy that I met at “school” (as an exchange student I was required to attend school, which I did – for a while) was a member of a local rock band, and when he found out I played the organ (I know, how cool was I?) he asked me if I wanted to be part of his band. Mostly it involved hanging around with the band (all very sweet young gentlemen) during rehearsals, and I played one show. My brief touch with “fame”!
6. Since July 1984 I have been a huge fan of Duran Duran. If you’re counting, that’s almost 30 years. I’m still a big fan of their work.
7. I LOVE CHEESE, in most of its forms. Cheeses I don’t like? Blue cheese, stinky cheeses, swiss cheeses.
8. Related to # 7, I LOVE PIZZA. It is my go-to comfort food when I am upset, or feeling too lazy to cook.
9. I am a Crossfitter. I have never been an active person, so this is huge for me. Everyone at my gym is very supportive of me & my efforts (successful or not). Turns out I have an aptitude for weightlifting – who knew? I recently participated in our local Santa Claus parade, requiring me to walk the entire 3km parade route, with stops to work out. If you’d told me a year ago that I would do that without complaint, I would have told you to get lost (in less kind words).
10. I love the Mythbusters – it is one of my all-time favourite TV shows, and Adam Savage is one of my favourite TV personalities. That man’s laugh never ceases to crack me up – he has such a love for what he does, it’s contagious.
11. I have 2 cats, neither of whom enjoy the company of people other than my husband & I. Andrew & I are their people, they see no need for anyone else. Pippin is much more vocal in her protests than Willow is, with much hissing & some growling.

Second, I am to answer some questions posed to me by my nominator.
1. What’s your favourite hobby? I don’t really have one. I used to make jewelry (beads & wire, mostly) but I haven’t done that in a while. Does Crossfit count as a hobby?
2. What colour looks best on you? Green, I think, but I don’t have many green clothes, because I’m very picky on the shades I like.
3. What is the most memorable place you have ever visited? Hereford Cathedral. I love the UK in general, but I love Hereford Cathedral the best. I saw it on an episode of Nova (I think) before I went to the UK in 1992, I think the show was about computers but they showed & talked about Hereford Cathedral’s medieval chained library, and right then & there, I knew I had to visit. Hereford is a fairly small town (city?) near the Welsh border, so it wasn’t super-easy to get to in 1992, but it was totally worth it. Andrew & I went back there in 2009 (I think it was 2009) & it was just like coming home. For some reason, I feel really connected to the cathedral, like it was part of one of my past lives. I just love the feeling of peace & wonder I get when I visit.
4. Have you ever Hammer danced? Not that I can remember, but then again, I am NOT the best dancer.
5. What language would you like to become proficient at? One of the languages I already know – French or Portuguese. I also know some Spanish, which is a by-product of working with several people from Latin America.
6. What book(s) have left a lasting impression on you? Diana Gabaldon’s Outlander series. It’s the whole time-travel thing again.
7. What is your favourite holiday family tradition? Spending Christmas Eve with old friends in the village I grew up in. We don’t get to do it every year, but when we do, it’s pretty darn cool.
8. If you could suddenly be a rock star, would you be the drummer, the keyboard player, the guitar player or the lead singer? None of the above. In a perfect world, I would be the bass player, cuz I just love the bass guitar. In real life, my short T-Rex arms & stubby fingers don’t really say “bass player”.
9. What news publication (if any) do you read? Sydney Morning Herald (for all my Aussie news), Toronto Star (for all my local news).
10. What is something you are really good at? Sit-ups. Seriously – I’ve gotten compliments from many coaches at the gym on my sit-ups. ABS OF STEEL! (cloaked in a covering of cheese & butter….)
11. How would you like to be remembered after you’ve left this life? As someone who was kind, intelligent & funny. A loyal friend, a fierce protector.
I’m going to nominate my friend Vicki’s blog, Something Else. She updates about as much as I do, if not less!

Sigh.....

Three years & seven months waiting for our referral. There isn't much else to say. We're updating our homestudy/paperwork to open up our request to boy or girl, but my heart just isn't in the whole paperchase this time. Now that the Hawaii trip-of-a-lifetime has come & gone, I feel like there is little to look forward to. I guess I'm just bummed - gotta fix that somehow, but I'll be buggered if I know how.

Huzzah!

Did I tell y'all that I've lost an inch each off my chest, waist & hips since I started Crossfit 3.5 months ago? Well, I have. Huzzah! I've also done things I never thought I'd do, like flip a tractor tire about 50 times (with help, I'm not that big of a badass yet!), lift more than 100 lbs (at once), do 110 back squats (with a 45 lb bar on my back) in one workout, row for 2 km in one workout, etc. I am empowered. Don't make me angry, I just might flip your car over (but give me another year of Crossfit before I attempt that!).

Yes, I guess it's been a while....

Hello, my faithful readers (though, by now, perhaps I have lost my audience)! It has been ever so long since I graced my blog with my presence. Not much has been happening, really, just life in general, but I'll try to catch you up as best I can.

May
May is my birthday month, and we celebrated with another trip to Buffalo, this time with my parents. A very good time was had by all, and much shopping was done. Turns out Walmart is a great place to get a deal on protein powder & Gatorade pre- & post- workout drinks (even though I think the post-workout drink tastes like lemon/lime & barnyard, Andrew seems to like it - but I think he will pretty much eat anything). We spent half a day in East Aurora again, and had a FABULOUS lunch at a place called Tantalus. I had a to-die-for stuffed burger (with no bun, as is my custom). It was stuffed with sundried tomatoes, feta & black olives, and the beef was just so beefy-tasting. It was the best burger I've had so far this year. I'm itching to go back & have another one! We celebrated my Dad's birthday at the end of the month (we got him a luxury car test drive, which he & Andrew will partake in in August. Dad's driving a Ferrari & Andrew's driving a Lamborghini - sweet!!!).

June
June is bit of a blur (being so long ago & all). We spent a weekend in Prescott again, stopping for cheese curds at Maple Dale on the way there & the way back. Sooooo many curds. I think I'm curd-ed out for a while (but the roasted garlic curds are sooooo good). During that trip we had a lovely day in Westport, where much shopping (window & actual) was done. My work team also moved from the factory location to the airport location, so my commute was cut in half, which is awesome! Being near the airport, we see lots of planes (arriving & departing), though some sitings are pretty scarily close! Part of my route home includes Airport Rd, and the runway where several planes land runs perpendicular to Airport Rd (and starts at Airport Rd). Wow, are those planes LOW when they land! It seems like they're going to land on your car sometimes. Scary, but exhilarating!

July
July's been pretty quiet so far.

Adoption
No news here, unless you consider our needing to update some of our paperwork (AGAIN) news. We've been advised that it can wait until the whole dossier needs updating at the end of the year, unless we get a referral between now & then. That doesn't look likely, as paperwork requirements in Ethiopia have changed yet again, which has slowed referrals down. It has speeded up processing post-court date, though, so that is a very good thing for those who have referrals. We continue to wait & hope. We are considering opening up our request to a boy (which Andrew was always in favour of, but I resisted because I really wanted a girl). Now that we've met our friends' little guy, home since November of last year, I am no longer resistant to the idea of having a little boy!

Crossfit
Yep, I'm still doing Crossfit, usually about twice a week. It's still challenging, which I think it will be for quite some time, but I'm enjoying it, and I really enjoy the supportive, family atmosphere at the gym. Lots of people have told me that they are seeing results on me, which is nice. My core is definitely tighter, and I am definitely getting stronger. I can deadlift 105 lbs, power clean & push press 65 lbs & back squat 45 lbs. I'm getting there. I enjoy going with Andrew, though we don't really work out together, because he's at a different level, fitness-wise, than me. I'm wishing I'd started in the winter, though, cuz this hot weather is killing me when I work out. I must lose about a pound every workout, just from sweat. Good times! And sometimes, it's just too hot to work out (like when it's over 32). There's no A/C in the gym, just ceiling fans & roller doors. It's brutal sometimes.

Well, I think you're all caught up now. I'll try to start posting more often, especially in the lead up to HAWAII CRUISE 2012!!!

Janna's Crossfit Challenge - The Crossfittening, Part 5

So here we are – the end of my Crossfit training classes, and the beginning of my proper Crossfit journey. I’ve got to say, I am pleased that I have made it this far, but I’m still really nervous about starting the WODs (Workout Of the Day). I plan to do my first WOD tonight, provided the weather allows us to get home in time to change & get to the gym in time. Tonight’s coach is Mitch, who did 4 of my 5 Foundations classes. Not sure how I feel about that – I am kind of looking forward to the anonymity of being in a class with other people, but then again, I know Mitch will push me, which is actually a good thing. I’ve taken a look at the WOD, and it’s mostly weightlifting moves, which I’ve done, so I should be able to do it. Let’s see.

Anyway, on to my last Foundations class. I had originally agreed to meet with Mitch at 5pm on Wednesday, which suited me because I like to get my workouts over & done with so I can enjoy the rest of my evening, but then he emailed me on Tuesday & asked if we could do the class at 8pm instead. In the spirit of just finishing my last class already, I agreed to the time switch. There weren’t any WODs on at that time, so Andrew decided to come along & join my class (it’s always good to get a refresher on your technique). The last class worked on the snatch, which is a variation of the clean, which we worked on in Monday’s class. The warm up was 500m of rowing (with a clean “dismount”, again, hooray me!), then practicing the snatch technique. As a special treat, Mitch used his smartphone to video a bunch of my lifts, to show me what it looked like when I was doing it wrong, vs when I was doing it right. As with the other lifts, I get the technique, but my co-ordination is still lacking. Practice makes perfect, I guess. Once again I was using the 20lbs bar. That night’s workout was 250m rowing, 15 power snatch lifts, 25 burpees, 15 power snatch lifts and 250m rowing. It turns out burpees are the devil’s work (for those of you not familiar with the terms a burpee is sort of like a push up where you start from a standing position, into a pushup position, touching your chest completely to the floor, then stand up, jump in the air & clap your hands – if that doesn’t make any sense, look it up on YouTube). Let’s just say my burpees are decidedly slower & more visually awkward than the average burpee. By my tenth burpee my hands were KILLING ME, OMG, so I negotiated the 25 burpees down to 15 burpees (thank doG, that was the worst part of the workout!), but otherwise I finished my workout. Hooray!

From what Andrew tells me, the gym peeps are looking forward to me starting the WODs. I’m pretty stoked that they are all rooting for me, but at the same time, I’m really nervous about letting everyone down. I’ve never been an active, athletic person, and I’m nervous about making a fool of myself, and, truth be told, ashamed of how I look (though I never feel like that when I’m actually working out, for some reason). Everyone there seems really nice, and they even threw a joint birthday party/euchre night last weekend to celebrate a bunch of birthdays (Andrew’s included). I didn’t go (I was feeling too shy, until it was too late to get tickets, then I wanted to go – story of my life) but Andrew did. If I can encourage myself to keep going at least 2-3 times a week, hopefully the gym will become an important part of my life, as it is for Andrew. I just don’t know, though. We shall see.

Did I mention we got a new car?

It's true! After 3 years of me not liking the Mazda 5 & it being relegated to the garage for crimes it did not commit (it wasn't its fault it wasn't a good, comfortable fit for me), we decided to trade it in for some "new hotness". To be fair to the Mazda, it was a good car for a family, and we bought it with that intention - 1 month before the agency went bankrupt. We held onto it for 3 years, thinking our referral was just around the corner. Now, with no referral & no idea when we'll get a referral, it seems silly to hold onto a car that I don't find comfortable to drive just because it would fit a baby seat & have plenty of cargo space. Sure, the cargo space was great when you went to Ikea, or to the garden centre, but for the amount of times we used it for that purpose, it just didn't make sense to keep it once our new car caught our eye. It's a 2012 Ford Focus hatchback, so it is a fair bit smaller than the Mazda 5, but it is soooo cool! We got the white metallic finish (white platinum) and it's got a zippy little engine & it's comfortable for me to drive, and it's just a great little car. We picked it up on Tuesday & it got its first drive-to-work today, and I am pleased to say that it drove like a dream! The ambient lighting is pretty cool too - it's in the cupholders, footwells, & the doors, and there are many colours - bright blue, dark blue, green, red, pink & purple. I have chosen purple for the time being, but that is subject to change.

So, in conclusion, it's sparkly white, it's zippy, it's comfortable & it's got ambient lighting. Hooray!