It's been a while

Sorry about that, not much to say really. Had a great anniversary trip in Niagara Falls - stayed at the Hilton, walked around the casino the first afternoon, had a nice dinner, the next day we did a little shopping at the Canadian outlets, then went & toured some of the nearby wineries (bought some great wines), then had Brazilian churrasco at the restaurant in the Hilton (we ate ourselves stupid), then on the Monday we went shopping in NY. We went to Walden Galleria & some of the outlets, got some Christmas gifts & gifts for ourselves (mostly clothes). All in all, a nice long weekend. Then this past Friday we headed to my hometown to see the dentist (he's been my dentist for over 30 years, hopefully he doesn't retire any time soon!) and hang out at my parents' place (unfortunately they weren't there - they were doing their own cross-border shopping in Michigan). We rented Monsters vs Aliens (very cute) and ate the local pizza (awesome - has shredded ham instead of just chunks of ham like the pizza chains do - soooooo yummy). Then it was back home for 5 pin bowling with the adoption crew & Mexican food afterwards. Then yesterday my brother & his wife came to our place to go through some books & stuff they had stored at our place. Unfortunately they did not bring my niece - she spent the night with her grandma (Jenn's mom) so they were going to go there after our place. I'll probably see her next weekend as my parents will be at our place.

Happy Anniversary

Today is Andrew's & my 15th wedding anniversary! We've been through a lot together, a whole lot, and even though he doesn't read this blog (that I am aware of), I want to thank him for putting up with me for 15 years (well, 17 really, but 15 married years). We've been able to weather all of the storms together, as a team, and I think it helps that we are best friends and soul mates. I have always believed we were destined to be together - how else could a Canadian girl end up married to an Australian guy after meeting & spending 2 days together in London (UK)? It has to be fate. Anyhow, I thank God for him every day, and I hope we have many, many more years together. Thank you, my friend, for everything you do for me, for your support (emotional & otherwise). I hope with all my heart that we will be a family soon so we can share our love with our daughter.

It should be me

Our niece's christening was yesterday. It was a beautiful day, bright & sunny after a dreadfully gloomy day on Saturday. She was one of 5 babies being baptised that day, and she was the only one that didn't cry at all. She was just a little angel, which is fitting, I suppose! Sitting in the pew, though, for those 2 hours, all I could think was, this should be me, or more accurately, us. I'm almost 4 years older than my brother, it should be my child being baptised, everyone should be happy for me, for Andrew, for Wren, for us. Selfish. I know it. Most of the time I'm on top of the mourning for what hasn't happened yet, but yesterday it was front & centre. There were several times during the (long) service where I was almost in tears. I don't begrudge my brother his family (especially our sweet angel Evie) but I can't help but be insanely jealous. All this uncertainty with the adoption doesn't help either. At this rate I'll be an auntie again before I get Wren home. I know it's my own fault that we don't have any kids, but that doesn't make it hurt any less. Sigh.

Achoo!

So, my work laptop got a virus last night, just before I left for the day. Awesome! Now it's convalescing in the IT department. I felt just awful, like I'd been looking at nasty internet things, but I really wasn't! Honest! I was just surfing the same sites I've been surfing every day for years, but this time "gofugyourself" gave me a bit more than laughs about celebrities who can't dress themselves. I have to tell you, my guilt factor here is ENORMOUS! I feel like this is going to go on my permanent record. I can't wait to get my own laptop back, this loaner is slow & I don't have my personal files so I can't archive any of my emails. Boo! This sucks!

I'm still here

It's been an up & down week this week. I've been struggling a little, emotionally, after the death of my friend. That feels a little fraudulent to say that, because I lost touch with her about 20 years ago, but I can't help think how devastated her husband and daughter & family are, how awful her passing must have been for them. Her mom was a teacher in my elementary school, so it was good to be able to see her at the wake & be able to give her my condolences in person. Once I told her my (maiden) name she remembered who I was, and I think she couldn't believe that I had actually come to the wake after so much time. It was so nice to see her again, but I can' help wishing that she didn't have to endure the devastation of losing a child, especially after she had beat the cancer the first time. I kind of wondered if I should go to the wake after so much time had passed, but I'm glad I did. She was a part of my life, even if that part was a long time ago.
Along with the wake, the weekend was pretty busy. We got one of the cars serviced, spoke with the lady at the bank to make sure we had the money available for the additional payments for the adoption (that was Saturday), then on Sunday we cleaned up the gardens to get them ready for winter. We harvested heaps of onions, carrots & a huge head of garlic. We also have some brussels sprouts that might still be harvestable (right now they are the size of large peas). It was a lot of work & pain (I ended up with a rose thorn in my toe & a cut on my finger from a nasty blade of grass - I can just picture the Discovery channel special - WHEN GRASS ATTACKS!) but it was worth it, the garden looks much better. This coming weekend is Evie's christening.

I must admit I do this ALL. THE. TIME.

see more Lolcats and funny pictures

Losing touch

Moving around as much as I have since high school (and being an exchange student during grade 12), I've lost touch with most of my friends from childhood. I found out today that one of my dear friends from childhood, from as far back as kindergarten times, has passed away from cancer. At 37 years old. To say that this is sad is a given. What a loss - I can't even begin to process it yet. Whatever happens in my life, I can never forget that I have it good, great even. At least I have a chance to live my life.

I'll be attending her memorial tomorrow.

Rest in peace, Tracy.

ETA: It was cancer. It started as breast cancer 5 years ago, which was agressively treated & beaten into submission. Then it returned, in different parts of her body, but she was only able to have one round of chemo before it took her from her husband & 7-year old daughter. How indescribably horrible, to have to leave your child behind. I cannot even begon to fathom how that must feel, my heart goes out to anyone in that situation. It's certainly one I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy.