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Thursday, October 29, 2009

Happy Anniversary

Today is Andrew's & my 15th wedding anniversary! We've been through a lot together, a whole lot, and even though he doesn't read this blog (that I am aware of), I want to thank him for putting up with me for 15 years (well, 17 really, but 15 married years). We've been able to weather all of the storms together, as a team, and I think it helps that we are best friends and soul mates. I have always believed we were destined to be together - how else could a Canadian girl end up married to an Australian guy after meeting & spending 2 days together in London (UK)? It has to be fate. Anyhow, I thank God for him every day, and I hope we have many, many more years together. Thank you, my friend, for everything you do for me, for your support (emotional & otherwise). I hope with all my heart that we will be a family soon so we can share our love with our daughter.

Monday, October 26, 2009

It should be me

Our niece's christening was yesterday. It was a beautiful day, bright & sunny after a dreadfully gloomy day on Saturday. She was one of 5 babies being baptised that day, and she was the only one that didn't cry at all. She was just a little angel, which is fitting, I suppose! Sitting in the pew, though, for those 2 hours, all I could think was, this should be me, or more accurately, us. I'm almost 4 years older than my brother, it should be my child being baptised, everyone should be happy for me, for Andrew, for Wren, for us. Selfish. I know it. Most of the time I'm on top of the mourning for what hasn't happened yet, but yesterday it was front & centre. There were several times during the (long) service where I was almost in tears. I don't begrudge my brother his family (especially our sweet angel Evie) but I can't help but be insanely jealous. All this uncertainty with the adoption doesn't help either. At this rate I'll be an auntie again before I get Wren home. I know it's my own fault that we don't have any kids, but that doesn't make it hurt any less. Sigh.

Friday, October 23, 2009


So, my work laptop got a virus last night, just before I left for the day. Awesome! Now it's convalescing in the IT department. I felt just awful, like I'd been looking at nasty internet things, but I really wasn't! Honest! I was just surfing the same sites I've been surfing every day for years, but this time "gofugyourself" gave me a bit more than laughs about celebrities who can't dress themselves. I have to tell you, my guilt factor here is ENORMOUS! I feel like this is going to go on my permanent record. I can't wait to get my own laptop back, this loaner is slow & I don't have my personal files so I can't archive any of my emails. Boo! This sucks!

Thursday, October 22, 2009

I'm still here

It's been an up & down week this week. I've been struggling a little, emotionally, after the death of my friend. That feels a little fraudulent to say that, because I lost touch with her about 20 years ago, but I can't help think how devastated her husband and daughter & family are, how awful her passing must have been for them. Her mom was a teacher in my elementary school, so it was good to be able to see her at the wake & be able to give her my condolences in person. Once I told her my (maiden) name she remembered who I was, and I think she couldn't believe that I had actually come to the wake after so much time. It was so nice to see her again, but I can' help wishing that she didn't have to endure the devastation of losing a child, especially after she had beat the cancer the first time. I kind of wondered if I should go to the wake after so much time had passed, but I'm glad I did. She was a part of my life, even if that part was a long time ago.
Along with the wake, the weekend was pretty busy. We got one of the cars serviced, spoke with the lady at the bank to make sure we had the money available for the additional payments for the adoption (that was Saturday), then on Sunday we cleaned up the gardens to get them ready for winter. We harvested heaps of onions, carrots & a huge head of garlic. We also have some brussels sprouts that might still be harvestable (right now they are the size of large peas). It was a lot of work & pain (I ended up with a rose thorn in my toe & a cut on my finger from a nasty blade of grass - I can just picture the Discovery channel special - WHEN GRASS ATTACKS!) but it was worth it, the garden looks much better. This coming weekend is Evie's christening.

Friday, October 16, 2009

Losing touch

Moving around as much as I have since high school (and being an exchange student during grade 12), I've lost touch with most of my friends from childhood. I found out today that one of my dear friends from childhood, from as far back as kindergarten times, has passed away from cancer. At 37 years old. To say that this is sad is a given. What a loss - I can't even begin to process it yet. Whatever happens in my life, I can never forget that I have it good, great even. At least I have a chance to live my life.

I'll be attending her memorial tomorrow.

Rest in peace, Tracy.

ETA: It was cancer. It started as breast cancer 5 years ago, which was agressively treated & beaten into submission. Then it returned, in different parts of her body, but she was only able to have one round of chemo before it took her from her husband & 7-year old daughter. How indescribably horrible, to have to leave your child behind. I cannot even begon to fathom how that must feel, my heart goes out to anyone in that situation. It's certainly one I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy.

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Peaceful easy feeling

It was a quiet, peaceful Thanksgiving. We arrived at my parents' house around noon on Saturday, and my brother & his family arrive around 3.30pm. We had a big spaghetti dinner that night, with one of my mom's best friends in attendance. This lady has done so many wonderful things for my family, including taking my mom to therapy when she had her knee replaced last year, and sitting with my mom for the countless hours that my dad was in surgery to remove part of his kidney. She is such a special lady, peace & love just radiate off her. Her & my dad also have a good relationship - she's always giving him a hard time about something, but in a joking way. She's becoming a very special part of our family.

My niece is a little over 6 months old now, and she is such an angel! She is such a happy baby, especially in the morning when she wakes up. It was so great to be able to spend the whole weekend with her, from the time she woke up - with a smile for everyone - to the time she went to bed. She just charms everyone she meets. She had a huge smile for me every time I saw her. It makes me want this adoption to go much, much quicker! I imagine Evie will be about 2 when Wren comes home. I can just picture her asking for her cousin, "where's Wen?", because of course she's have trouble with her "r"s. Man, I'm getting ahead of myself, there's a long way to go to get to that point!

Anyhoo, it was a great long weekend, very restorative to my soul.

Wednesday, October 7, 2009

My Secret

I must confess something. I understand that I may be mocked for this confession, but I feel this is worth the relief of getting it off my chest. I love the Jonas Brothers. There – I said it. I know that I’m 15 years older than the oldest Jonas (Kevin), but I don’t care. It’s not a romantic kind of love, though, that would be illegal, and also not all that realistic. No, I just think they are really cool, and I love their TV show (named, of course, Jonas). When I was growing up (like 8 years old or so), I was totally in love with Davy Jones of the Monkees. That was my absolute favourite TV show at the time (it still is one of my favourites) and I would tell anyone who would ask that I loved Davy Jones & that I was going to marry him. Never mind that it was the late 70’s – early 80’s and that it was at least the second “wave” of the Monkees (the series originally aired in the 60’s).

But anyway, back to Jonas. Jonas (the TV show) is a lot like the Monkees – it’s got cute young men, slap-stick, visual comedy, music, what’s not to like? It’s one of my favourite shows now (guess I’m a sucker for a pretty face that’s also funny). And these are just genuinely nice guys – two of them (Joe & Nick) are in the GTA filming Camp Rock 2 (no, I haven’t seen Camp Rock 1, well, I haven’t see ALL of it) and they ran the Run for a Cure last weekend. How cool is that? With all the questionable role models out there right now, I would have absolutely no problem with my daughter “crushing” on these guys.

So there we go, my secret is out. But seriously, watch Jonas – it’s good for a laugh, and there ain’t nothing wrong with that.

Tuesday, October 6, 2009

A fairly boring weekend

Not sure why I waited til Tuesday to blog about this, it's not like it's going to get any more interesting with time. Anyhoo, this weekend featured painting, napping & a deep-fried mars bar, but not necessarily in that order. Saturday started bright & early at 6am, thanks to Pippin & her insatiable hunger (darn cat). We started the day with the breakfast of champions - toasted english muffins with sliced green olives & old cheddar melted over the top. Mmmmmm. Then the flooring was delivered (it has to aclimitise to our house before it's installed). Then we went to the dump to get rid of the old carpet, to Cobs in Oakville for chocolate croissants & a jalapeno cheese twist (I won't put my system through that again). Then we went for fish & chips (well, since I don't eat fish it was chicken nuggets & chips), and a deep fried mars bar, which we shared. They are just too rich to eat a whole one by yourself. Then we went to Home Depot for trim paint for the quarter-round. Sunday mostly consisted of painting the quarter-round & a 3 hour nap in front of the Nascar race. And we watched the Battle of the Blades, which was pretty cool.
See, I told you it was boring!

More cute!

Yeah, I look like this every day, what of it?

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Friday, October 2, 2009

Cute overload

Here are some new pics of my niece, who is up there with the cutest babies in the history of the world. She turned 6 months old yesterday.