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Monday, September 19, 2011

It's a sad, sad situation

Since we started our adoption, lo these many (almost 4) years ago, we’ve been part of an online adoption group. This group has been invaluable during the process, and was especially beneficial in rallying the troops after the bankruptcy back in 2009. The women (and men, but it’s mostly) of the group have never been shy in sharing their ideas, their expertise, their opinions, their feelings, their questions, & their answers to your questions, and to me, it’s great to have a group of people that know what you’re going through. They’ve either been through it themselves & can offer knowledge & wisdom, or they are going through it with you & can offer commiserations on delays & other issues, or they are a bit behind you in the process & you’re offering them assistance on things you’ve already experienced. That’s just a lot of words to say that it’s a community of like-minded people, and that can be priceless, when you’re waiting & waiting & waiting for your referral (or your court date, or your visa). You may never meet these people in person, but you feel like you know them, via the interwebs.

We lost one of our group this week. A woman who had waited years (with her husband) to bring home their son, a wee boy who just turned 1 year old this past July. They’d only been home with their son for 4 months when she passed away, weeks after being diagnosed with brain cancer. That’s weeks, not months. This is such a tragedy. Not only has a husband lost his precious wife, someone with whom he’d been through so much, a little, little boy, who has already lost so much in his short life, has just lost his second mommy, someone who waited so long for him, someone who was going to love & nuture him for the rest of his life. I just can’t get this family out of my head. I didn’t know them personally, though I recognize the man from some of the bankruptcy meetings that we attended. Brain cancer has taken far too much from too many people this year, and it has to stop. I don’t know how, but it has to stop. Why does it always seem to take the young (or the relatively young), those who have so much live still left to do. Why does it seem to hide & grow in secret, masking it’s symptoms as things that could be “nothing”, until it’s “something” and it’s too late & it’s inoperable? It’s not right. It’s just not right. For all the money that’s spent on wars & government dithering (see the debt reduction debacle in the US lately), and consumerism (who needs multiple lavishly appointed houses & scores of automobiles, and helicopters & private jets & jewel-encrusted dog collars, etc) (not that I am exempt from consumerism – I have always liked to shop!), we could be pouring that money into cancer research, so families can stop having to say goodbye to their loved ones, can stop having to live through months of chemo & radiation & fatigue & financial issues. What’s it going to take for that to happen? Who do we have to lose for the line to be drawn in the sand – here, no further.


CinnamonOpus said...


Their story just broke my heart. It's just so terribly sad.

Janna said...

I can't get them out of my mind. Just goes to show that life is fleeting, and you should live every day as fully as you can. Where that fancy dress, use the "good" china whenever you want, live in the moment. Do what you want (within reason), because we're here for a good time, not a long time! Wow, is that enough platitudes for you?

Vicki said...

that is just so sad.