Let it go, let it go, let it go.....

And by go, I mean "leave". This has been a very difficult Christmas season so far, one of the hardest that I can remember, and that includes the 8 Christmases I've spent apart from my family (thank God for my "adopted" Christmas family in Australia!). I am not in a Christmas mood at all this year, and I'm pretty sure it's all to do with the adoption (or the lack thereof). We were in the mall on Saturday, doing some shopping on behalf of my mom, and the store just happened to be right next to the "get your picture taken with Santa" area. It was all I could do to get past the little ones (dressed up to the nines) & their parents without bursting into tears, and then the store we went to was geared specifically to children, so that didn't help either. I don't remember feeling like this the last 2 Christmases just past. It's not that I'm jealous of everyone who has kids, it's just that I'm really, really bummed that we don't have one of our own yet. I don't feel like putting up any decorations, or any lights, or a tree, or anything like that. I am looking forward to exchanging gifts with my family, though - I think I've done a pretty good job this year with my purchases! It's just that, Christmas is for children, and it's a constant reminder that I don't have one.