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Thursday, September 1, 2011

So much angry, so little time

So, it’s been over 4 months now since we received our approval to adopt (from the provincial ministry of child & youth services), and still, STILL we do not have our statutory declaration, which is needed to complete our file. Sure, they’ve told us that, should a referral come up for our family, that the lack of a stat dec will not affect our ability to accept the referral. It IS needed for court, though. Now, don’t get me wrong, we’re not anywhere close to a referral, let alone a court date, but even so, in this crazy, uncertain world of adoption, when you chase paperwork for weeks & sometimes months, any outstanding paperwork (especially something that is out of your control) will drive you crazy. Considering that our first stat dec took 3 weeks to be processed, I think I’ve been pretty patient in the wait for this second stat dec (for our updated file). I haven’t been emailing daily, or even weekly. I email once a month, on or near the date we got our approval (the 19th). And so far, for the past 3 months, the answer has remained the same. It’s with the embassy, and will be sent back to the agency when it’s completed. Every month, the same answer. Considering that, 2.5 years ago, it was possible to complete a stat dec & send it to the agency within 3 weeks, what in the hell is happening now? This isn’t just slow, it’s glacial. And now? Now they’re telling us we have to pay for this new stat dec! I am positive that, with Imagine, you only had to pay for a new stat dec when you were making changes over & above your standard “it’s been 2 years, you don’t have a kid yet, or even a referral, so it’s time to update your paperwork” update. Turns out, I was WRONG. We do have to pay. Again. Some more. When they were going to decide to tell us is anyone’s guess. This, on top of the upcoming Ethiopia program fundraiser that we really want to attend so we can meet the Ethiopian head of the Imagine Ethiopia program, which costs almost as much as the stat dec will cost. The proceeds will go to sustaining the Ethiopian program, but what? Do they think that families who are trying to adopt are made of money? Don’t get me wrong – I’m not angry at having to pay for the stat dec. What I’m angry about? That I had to ask them if we had to pay. At no point were we informed of this requirement. If you need me to pay money for something, don’t you think you should be letting me know that? I have asked the agency on several occasions if we were missing anything, and each time I was told no, everything is in order. I am so flippin’ frustrated & angry about all of this, you have no idea. We have done everything asked of us, and it seems like we’re just running in circles, chasing our tails, getting nowhere. And I cannot tell you how much that sucks. I’m at one of those points (again, some more) where I feel like this is never going to happen for us. Not that there’s anything wrong with being a childless couple, I just didn’t think it was in the cards for us. Time will tell, I guess.

And yeah, the Great Wisdon Teeth Extraction of 2011 went off without a hitch, just in case you wanted to know.

3 comments:

CinnamonOpus said...

Oh, I am so sorry this is dragging out so long for you!! No end of frustrating! Is it possible that this Agency With The Horrific Name could be even WORSE than Imagine was? It doesn't seem possible, and yet? They seem to suck pretty hard.

I know I won't be sending my yearly updates through them anymore when they a) don't bother to send out reminders, and 2) don't acknowledge that I sent them anything. At least with Imagine I got something, sometimes, and even without haranguing them, too.

Janna said...

Yeah, I don't think they are bad, per se, but they are SO DISORGANIZED! Seriously. Because I want to be a mom I'm in it for the long haul, but if this was any other sort of company or service, I'd have dropped them like a hot potato a long time ago. They just don't seem to have a good handle on what's going on, for some reason. You would think that they would by now. I just keep telling myself, this will all be worth it in the end.

CinnamonOpus said...

Bah. I want to punch them in the junk on your behalf.

Come, you must visit and have coffee and hang out and relax. I may even do some baking. Who can say?