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Tuesday, March 6, 2012

Don't ask

I heard it said that if you don’t want to know the answer, don’t ask the question. Wise words.

Since Andrew went to visit the agency last year, he’s got a pretty good relationship with them, and as such, can get better answers from them than I seem to be able to. Since we just passed our 3 year anniversary, I asked him to email them to see if we’ve made any forward progress in our referral wait in the last 5 months. The short answer is no. The long answer is NOOOOOOOOOOO. Actually, the long answer is, there are 3 families ahead of us on the list asking for a girl in the same age range, which was the answer we were given last October, and there are no new girl referrals for our age range in the near future. We have not moved forward on the list at all. While I am not surprised, it still feels like a kick in the stomach. I was so hopeful that we’d made at least a little progress, that we would have our referral sooner rather than later. Things could change, they said they have seen an increase in referrals, which is good. Any forward momentum is good, I guess.

Many things in adoption are a leap of faith, like buying a crib, painting the nursery, etc. We’ve done that, so far, but I just can’t bring myself to open up the crib & actually set it up. I don’t think I’ll be able to do that until we actually get a referral. So far, my wish of getting my referral before my 40th birthday is not looking good. I’ve got less than 2 months to go before I reach that milestone, I guess I’m hoping for a miracle.


CinnamonOpus said...

Well, at least you know, right? I guess on some levels, it's better than being left hanging. But, you never know how things will happen, and you know that list is not necessarily "in order", in that sometimes a better match might not be the first family on the list.

In the meantime, don't put too much weight on getting that referral before you're 40. Hell, we hadn't even STARTED the process until I turned 40, and we survived it! And you will too. It's just a number, and the way I choose to look at it, we just have that much more life experience and wisdom to offer than we did when we were younger!

We're sending all our good mojo out into the universe to help get things moving and show you your daughter's face as soon as possible. And in the meantime, if you need distraction or a place to unwind or someone to vent to, you know we're always here.

It'll happen, honey. Every day is one step closer.

Janna said...

Thanks for your mojo - it is appreciated.