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Monday, August 10, 2009

I believe

In my heart, I still believe this adoption will happen. My pesimistic side sometimes gets the better of me, though. The proposal to resurrect the agency should be complete in 2-4 weeks (so, by the end of August), but then it goes before the court. Is that a simple, quick process? Who knows? Do we need to wait (and wait & wait) for a court date or will we get one right away? Will the court approve the proposal? If so, how much more money will we need to give to complete this adoption? There are so many unknowns, and that gives me a lot of anxiety. I mean, there are always lots of unknowns in the adoption world, but this is an unusual case. And with all this indecision, we're trying to decide whether to put our dossier through CAS as well. If we get an adoption through them, it may delay or jeopardize our Ethiopian adoption. So many decisions, and not much info. Gah! No wonder I'm stressed & tired most of the time.

On a separate note, we bought bicycles this weekend, so I can't wait to go bike riding. It's been 20 years since I owned & used a bike. Man, I feel sooooo old!


CinnamonOpus said...

Hugs to you from us, because what you're dealing with is such a hard decision. I know when we were first starting out and had to choose one adoption path, it was a lot to take in. But in your case right now, it's so much more complicated and there's so much more to consider. It requires so much soul searching to determine where your heart is, and then follow your heart.

Maybe a nice, long, quiet bike ride will help clear your head and make it easier to decide what to do.

Janna said...

You're right - a bike ride would be a good thing, if the bike werent' at the bike shop getting better tires installed (the tires that came with the bike had a load limit of 198 lbs so I decided it would be prudent to get better tires so I could avoid a simultaneous blow out of both tires 5 minutes into my first ride). I should get my bike back tomorrow, if not today.
As for adoption in general - along with everything that's happening with IA, if we do decide to go with CAS, we need to work out if we want 2 kids, because there's a chance that both options could work out. I was just getting my head around parenting one child when this whole schmazel happened.

CinnamonOpus said...

2 would not be so bad! Although we were told there was absolutely no way in Ontario we could run both a CAS and an international adoption simultaneously, so it was not an option for us. So if you could do it, that might be nice!